Today I sat down at around 1:30 PM and said to myself before the tournament started that it would be my last. I played my hardest, and I lost 1-2 to Ice in the 1st round. And just like that, I felt a huge weight come off my shoulders and my chest. No more tournaments for me, at long last.
I finally realize that there’s nothing more for me to do. I have done just about everything you could do in this community and this game. This has been true for awhile actually, but for some reason I didn’t want to let go until now. It might have to do with the fact that the year of 2019 is precisely half over now, and that I want to turn a new leaf. It might have to do with finishing the last episode of Cowboy Bebop before the tournament and watching Spike go all out in his final mission.
Either way, it is time. It’s time for me to let go and let the players be. And I know it is for real this time; there is no coming back.
There’s nothing left to prove to others, and nothing left for me to change. There’s no pride or physical accomplishment to gain from all this, nothing to put on a resumé, no gold medals or trophies I can hang in my room or show to people. Anything that this game had left to gain, I have already gained.
I come away with many lessons that I have learned from being in this community. It’s not about the end results; what you truly gain is from the process. The process of building clans, building small communities; the process of getting involved in a gaming community to try to improve it and make things better; the process of trying to get good at a game that is difficult to learn; the process of fighting through intense competition and hostile environments; the process of learning politics and tact; the process of dealing with loss, and dealing with things that just will not go your way; the process of listening to all sides and standing up for what is right - these are all processes through which I learned so much, and they represent invaluable experiences that I would never have had without XGen. Going through all these trials played a large role in my maturation and in forming the perspective I have today.
I come away with an overall sense of satisfaction. In retrospect, there are many things I could have done better in my time here. But I don’t regret a thing that I did in this community. Through the years, I gave this community everything that I had, and I always fought hard to figure out what was right, and to do what was right. I stood up for the marginalized man; I stood up for what was best for the players. And to this end, I am proud of my work in this community. At times, I suffered and lashed out when things didn’t go my way. But looking back, these were all just parts of the experience, and I am appreciative of these bad experiences all the same. I am also satisfied with the level I achieved at playing the game itself. In my viewpoint, I understood this game to as deep a level as one could get, and I know that I was one of the best players ever on this game.
I would like to shout-out the following people:
Anyone that I played a good tournament match, good war, or good intense rivalry against, who didn’t hack. Stick Arena is a good game, and any good battle that I had in this game is precious.
Original Clan Scroll down to see the list.
Inferno - For many years I just wanted to have a fun hangout where Stick Arena was played competitively but not so seriously to the point that people had to constantly talk trash and put each other down needlessly. I never knew that it was right in Inferno this whole time! You guys are chill and play stickmen the way I like to play it - good hard competition all in good fun, and playing for the sake of the game itself and not selfishly. The couple tournaments we had this year were a lot of fun! Wherever you guys decide to go from here, wish you all the best.
Sin @Sin cd? 1v1 snake right now m8
It’s been a great 10+ years man. Hope that in another 10 years I can call you Dr. Sneezes. GG
B-) We enjoyed some good stickmen action together. And also those times playing Curve Fever and Draw My Thing xD
Lizbona @Lizbona Ima call a couple of hard pipe hittin stickmen to go to work on the holmes here, with a pair of glocks and a flamethrower. Unreal… Anyway thanks for lending an ear and giving me good advice. Also, Good stickmen battles k
Carlos @Chizuru After many years of not knowing you, I was relieved and very happy to discover there was another Stick Arena moderator who was so like-minded to me. I hope you are doing well. <3
Uyt - Thanks for bringing me back to Stick Arena late last year. There were evidently things that I still had yet to learn, and I’m glad I saw them through and was able to truly make peace with this game.
You pushed me and guided me in many ways towards becoming the person I am today. We searched for truth and for what’s right together and learned very much from it. We shall continue to grow together, and I look forward to it.
I will be in Inferno and Box Haven to chill with the homies from XGen. I will also upload a couple last videos to my Stick Arena YouTube channel. But other than that, I am ready to move on and not look back.
“I fought, and I lost. Now, I rest.” -Ser Alliser Thorne (Game of Thrones)