Two people attacked...by a Ninja.

[zafarat]

Link to the story (http://www.firstcoastnews.com/news/strange/news-article.aspx?storyid=81701)

ORLANDO, FL (AP) -- A man dressed like a ninja broke into an Orlando home, smashed furniture, attacked two people and then vanished without a trace.

Three people were inside the home watching a movie Sunday afternoon when the ninja ran in, punched one man in the mouth and then kicked another man.

The victims -- who did not want to be identified -- reported that the costumed man slammed the DVD player and VCR into a dresser. Then he pulled out a knife and started waiving it around. The victims say the intruder didn't steal anything from the house but took several pictures with his cell phone camera.

When it was time for the ninja to make his escape, he didn't disappear in a cloud of smoke. The victims say the man ran down the street to a black BMW and drove off.

Ninja please.

[RocketSoldier]

I'll kick his Ninja ass if he ever goes into my town.

[h00pla]

you fail at linking

[zafarat]

Oh, oops. I screwed it up.

Edit: Fixed it!

[Spectral]

I think I have unearthed some footage that would explain his new whereabouts.

width=425 height=350

[zafarat]

Patton Oswalt on Reno 911 = Awesome.

Back to the discussing of the world's greatest hero though.

[gufu1992]

Pirates are better
also: in things not to do-
Never try to record ninja warrior on the TV...

[The Prodigal]

Time to pull it out again.
gufu, the following is written by the cyborg ninja, a character from Metal Gear Solid, on why ninja are better than pirates.

PIRATES? BETTER THAN NINJA? DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH.

...

TOO LATE. YOU'VE MADE ME LAUGH.

BWAHAHAHAHAAAAHAHAHAHAHAA!

GIVE ME NAMES AND ADDRESSES. I'LL TEACH THESE PUNKS A THING OR TWO. FOR INSTANCE, WHY DO PIRATES ALWAYS HAVE ONE EYE MISSING? BECAUSE THEY PICKED A FIGHT WITH A NINJA, WHO PROMPTLY STUCK HIS KATANA NEATLY THROUGH THEIR EYE SOCKET, ALSO DAMAGING THE LANGUAGE CENTER OF THE BRAIN SO THAT THEY CAN'T PRONOUNCE MONOSYLLABIC WORDS AND SAY "YAR" A LOT.

SERIOUSLY, THE ONLY REASON PEOPLE EVEN CONSIDER PIRATES TO BE WORTHY ADVERSARIES FOR NINJA (WHICH THEY ARE ABSOLUTELY POSTIVELY NOT) IS BECAUSE OF THAT STUPID CHEESEBURGER KID AND HIS WEBSITE. HE HELPS A LOT OF PEOPLE EARN THEIR DARWIN AWARDS, THOUGH, SO MORE POWER TO HIM.

IN CLOSING: THE PLURAL OF "NINJA" IS "NINJA!" IF YOU'RE A FAN, GET IT GODDAMN RIGHT!

- NINJA

[SalsatheGeek]

Link to the story (http://www.firstcoastnews.com/news/strange/news-article.aspx?storyid=81701)

ORLANDO, FL (AP) -- A man dressed like a ninja broke into an Orlando home, smashed furniture, attacked two people and then vanished without a trace.

Three people were inside the home watching a movie Sunday afternoon when the ninja ran in, punched one man in the mouth and then kicked another man.

The victims -- who did not want to be identified -- reported that the costumed man slammed the DVD player and VCR into a dresser. Then he pulled out a knife and started waiving it around. The victims say the intruder didn't steal anything from the house but took several pictures with his cell phone camera.

When it was time for the ninja to make his escape, he didn't disappear in a cloud of smoke. The victims say the man ran down the street to a black BMW and drove off.

Ninja please.

A modern day "wanna-be" failure of a ninja.

[gufu1992]

But pirates got ships... and rifles... and free DvD's

[Doug05257]

Send in a pirate search team to find this rogue ninja and put him down!

[Mr. Anderson]

NINJA ROBBER=GOD.


Seriously. This man is awesome.

[Karl]

In my opinion, there would be no news story if he was a true ninja. They would never have seen him. Any destruction would be attributed to ghosts or aliens, probably.

Also, Prodigal, there is a scientific explanation for eye-patches. One, most obvious, is that it's pirate mythology, and obviously not every pirate wore one.

But also, and this was proved by the Mythbusters, mind you, a theory is that pirates wore an eye patch over a perfectly functioning eye so that a chemical would build up that allowed them to see in the dark. If they were ever suddenly placed in a dark place, they could flip up the eye patch and see fine.

I really have no beef with ninjas, I just think Pirates were more manly and bad ass. Ninjas were awesome in their own right, though.

[ssgtGrimreaper]

http://img523.imageshack.us/img523/640/ninjavspirate1vl6.png (http://imageshack.us)
OWNED.
[/fillmore]

[e p]

NINJA ROBBER=GOD.


Seriously. This man is awesome.

Doesn't a robber need to steal stuff, though?

[Karl]

http://img523.imageshack.us/img523/640/ninjavspirate1vl6.png (http://imageshack.us)
OWNED.
[/fillmore]
Ooh, yes, because a fifty million crappy fansites made by Weeaboos is something to be proud of.

[Mr. Anderson]

Not a ninja one.

[zafarat]

He's more like a Ninja B & E'er.

[ssgtGrimreaper]

Ooh, yes, because a fifty million crappy fansites made by Weeaboos is something to be proud of.>.>
<.<
Quiet, you.

[Lumeh]

http://i107.photobucket.com/albums/m297/silas216/ninja.jpg
Ninjas win.

[gufu1992]

Beware... he has mean right hook!

[Scornic]

Link to the story (http://www.firstcoastnews.com/news/strange/news-article.aspx?storyid=81701)

ORLANDO, FL (AP) -- A man dressed like a ninja broke into an Orlando home, smashed furniture, attacked two people and then vanished without a trace.

Three people were inside the home watching a movie Sunday afternoon when the ninja ran in, punched one man in the mouth and then kicked another man.

The victims -- who did not want to be identified -- reported that the costumed man slammed the DVD player and VCR into a dresser. Then he pulled out a knife and started waiving it around. The victims say the intruder didn't steal anything from the house but took several pictures with his cell phone camera.

When it was time for the ninja to make his escape, he didn't disappear in a cloud of smoke. The victims say the man ran down the street to a black BMW and drove off.

Ninja please.


He lost a bet.

[.sickling.]

Pirates can't do this.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-8037506698320306986&q=Ninja+Gaiden+Black&hl=en

[gufu1992]

Pirates don't loook that stupid...

[.sickling.]

Ninjas will always triumph against pirates. With their unmatched sneaky skills, they can infiltrate the pirate force, no matter how strong or large.

[Doug05257]

By 'infiltrate', you obviously mean 'convert'.


Many of the pirates are former ninjas who have snapped out of it and come to their senses.

[gufu1992]

fire thy cannons! and ninjas can't swim!

[.sickling.]

What are you talking about? Ninjas are trained better than pirates...
After all, the art of Ninjitsu is really the art of endurance, not sneakiness.
And doug, can you really prove that statement?

[Doug05257]

Pff. I don't need to - ask a pirate yourself. That is, if you're not one of those ninja scum. Then you have nothing to fear, right?

[.sickling.]

Oh, hello pirate. -zip- -pirate head falls off-
Correct, us ninjas have nothing to fear about you filthy pirates. Now take a bath so we can meditate.

[Doug05257]

It's pretty hard to meditate when you have those scimitars stuck in your back. I suggest you go get medical treatment. I find that the only place open for ninja medical treatment is the morgue - you, as a ninja, should probably check in and see what the fine people at the morgue can do for you.

[.sickling.]

It's pretty hard to meditate when you have those scimitars stuck in your back. I suggest you go get medical treatment. I find that the only place open for ninja medical treatment is the morgue - you, as a ninja, should probably check in and see what the fine people at the morgue can do for you.

Pirates don't use scimitars. The Persians do.
Us ninjas will never be caught in the back in the first place, after all. Your piratey head would already have hit the deck. Now let me meditate before I am forced to hurl a barrage of shurikens at you.

[Doug05257]

It doesn't matter what kind of weapon the pirates use, they kill all ninjas anyway.

You ever watch the movie 'The Matrix'? Well, what Neo could do is vaguely based upon the Wachowski brothers' experience while attempting to steal a pirate's rum, (which, of course, they miserably failed at). It's just as useless to throw shurikens at pirates as it is to shoot bullets at Neo.

[.sickling.]

It doesn't matter what kind of weapon the pirates use, they kill all ninjas anyway.

You ever watch the movie 'The Matrix'? Well, what Neo could do is vaguely based upon the Wachowski brothers' experience while attempting to steal a pirate's rum, (which, of course, they miserably failed at). It's just as useless to throw shurikens at pirates as it is to shoot bullets at Neo.

Pirates can't dodge high-speed shards of metal flying at their faces, just like you. Neo is a COMPLETELY FICTIONAL character. Why try and base pirates on a COMPLETELY FICTIONAL character? Face it. No one has bullet-dodging skills like Neo. You pirates may THINK you can dodge bullets/shurikens, but try dodging a flying broomstick first before you find a shuriken flying from the darkness piercing your skull.

Anyway, trying to hit a ninja with a sword is about as hard as trying to kill a fly with a knife. Pirates can barely hit a barrel of rum.

[Doug05257]

First of all, pirates drink RUM, not BEER.

Secondly, Neo was based on Pirates, not the other way around. Silly.

[.sickling.]

First of all, pirates drink RUM, not BEER.

Secondly, Neo was based on Pirates, not the other way around. Silly.

Oh, yes, silly me. Let's just say pirates and ninjas are equal and call it a day.

[DarkReality]

Who do you know more about? Pirates. Who fought more spectacular battles? Pirates. Who would rather die than give up a fight over a good bottle of rum? That's right, pirates. What do ninjas have speaking for them? Technology. All they can do is be quiet. They need smoke bombs to get away, grappling hooks to climb up buildings, etc. What do pirates need? Rum, a scimitar and a loud YARR! I'd say pirates are clearly better. What was the latest blockbuster movie about, pirates or ninjas? That's right, "Ninjas of the Caribbean" >_>

Honestly, ninja movies were cheesy. Or had to incorporate superheros of some sort who had ninja training. Which doesn't make them ninjas but superheros. I cannot, off the top of my head (albeit at 8 AM >_>) think of a really great ninja movie that was ABOUT ninjas and didn't just steal ninja techniques to give them to others.

[gufu1992]

Also - ninjas don't have rifles or cannons...

[.sickling.]

Who do you know more about? Pirates. Who fought more spectacular battles? Pirates. Who would rather die than give up a fight over a good bottle of rum? That's right, pirates. What do ninjas have speaking for them? Technology. All they can do is be quiet. They need smoke bombs to get away, grappling hooks to climb up buildings, etc. What do pirates need? Rum, a scimitar and a loud YARR! I'd say pirates are clearly better. What was the latest blockbuster movie about, pirates or ninjas? That's right, "Ninjas of the Caribbean" >_>

Honestly, ninja movies were cheesy. Or had to incorporate superheros of some sort who had ninja training. Which doesn't make them ninjas but superheros. I cannot, off the top of my head (albeit at 8 AM >_>) think of a really great ninja movie that was ABOUT ninjas and didn't just steal ninja techniques to give them to others.

You say all this, that pirates fought, oh, the best battles, blah. That's only because the pirates were publicized but the NINJAS STAYED HIDDEN. The ninjas may have had their share of magnificent, glorious battles, but they kept them SECRET. Pirates from Pirates of the Carribean are NOTHING what pirates really are like. Just because ninjas don't have any movies, doesn't mean they are worse. Ninjas can do much, much more than use smoke bombs or grappling hooks, or just simply be quiet. A ninja could easily defeat a heavily-armored samurai with a sword at the time, and a samurai could easily dispatch any pirate. What I am saying is simply the obvious.

[Karl]

You say all this, that pirates fought, oh, the best battles, blah. That's only because the pirates were publicized but the NINJAS STAYED HIDDEN. The ninjas had their share of magnificent, glorious battles, but they kept them SECRET. Pirates from Pirates of the Carribean are NOTHING what pirates really are like. Just because ninjas don't have any movies, doesn't mean they are worse. Ninjas can do much, much more than use smoke bombs or grappling hooks, or just simply be quiet. A ninja could easily defeat a heavily-armored samurai with a sword at the time, and a samurai could easily dispatch any pirate. What I am saying is simply the obvious.
Then how exactly are you knowledgeable on the subject? In other words, if they were so secret, how do you even know 'magnificent, glorious battles' took place?

Unless I'm mistaken, Ninja arose from the working class in feudal Japan. They were the common man's Samurai, defending themselves against tyrannical emperors.

In this way, they are not so different from Pirates. Many joined the pirate way of life because of misfortune or disgust with the way they were governed.

[Toasterovenmakingtoast]

Okay stop arguing. We all know that Chuck Norris is better than both pirates and Ninjas. He is a cowboy with both some pirate and ninja in him.

[Doug05257]

Pirates defeat all ninjas. With even a little bit of ninja in him, he has been corrupted.

Just throw a good ol' bandana on his head and hand him the Jolly Roger - he'll return to his former glory as a Pirate.

[Toasterovenmakingtoast]

*throws banana and jolly rancher* *norris screams out YARRR*

Sir we have a success.

[Logster]

Ninjas were the assasians and theives of medieval Japan. Pirates are still going about their business today, just not as many of them, no eyepatches, no peg legs, and on international waters.

Ninjas steal from Samuri and rich, pirates steal from navel vessals, and The US special forces kill as they **** well please. Who is the real master of combat? A tight unit of highly trained individuals with the latest in weaponary.

[Doug05257]

See? Logster also supports pirates, as they are the best equipped to deal with the Ninja scourge.

[.sickling.]

See? Logster also supports pirates, as they are the best equipped to deal with the Ninja scourge.

Best of all, he's completely wrong in his research. Just admit that ninjas are better than both pirates AND Chuck Norris.

[Doug05257]

Begone with thee, foul ninja scum!

[.sickling.]

-whizzing shuriken- I reject thee, filthy pirate entity!

[Toasterovenmakingtoast]

Proven fact. Nothing beats chuck norris. Pirates tie though. Ninjas lose.

[DarkReality]

Unless I'm mistaken, Ninja arose from the working class in feudal Japan. They were the common man's Samurai, defending themselves against tyrannical emperors.

On a note of seriousness: Yes ninjas weren't super 1337 killers. They were usually scouts and spies who knew how to stay hidden. The entire ninjitsu behind it was the development of a martial art that would allow a single person to defend himself against multiple opponents (but I could be wrong and it was made to simply pwn).

Ninjas, however, mostly relied on stealth and tricks to win, as an open confrontation with a samurai would have been certain death.

Pirates aren't novel either. Modern (and past) pirates were and are incredibly ruthless and kill(ed) innocent people for their ships and loot.

To end the argument, neither would win as they would never confront. A ninja can't hide on water and a real pirate never goes on land. It's sort of like "would a polar bear eat a penguin despite living on two different poles".

>_>

[.sickling.]

That's why they are equal!

[Toasterovenmakingtoast]

Ninjas lose. Next battle:
Vampires Vs. Pirates
Or maby vampirates? Yarr I im'a suck yar blood.

[.sickling.]

Ninjas lose. Next battle:
Vampires Vs. Pirates
Or maby vampirates? Yarr I im'a suck yar blood.

Ninjas kill vampires.

[Doug05257]

Well, at least we've found some decent use for them, then.

[zafarat]

But we already had Van Helsing and the Belmonts for that. Van Helsing doesn't need help.

[.sickling.]

But we already had Van Helsing and the Belmonts for that. Van Helsing doesn't need help.

Yes, he does. He needs Raid for the fleas in his werewolf form.

[zafarat]

Raid is harmful to animals though. A flea bath is so much safer.


Like Van and a Ninja would ever think about teaming up anyways.

[The Prodigal]

Also, Prodigal, there is a scientific explanation for eye-patches. One, most obvious, is that it's pirate mythology, and obviously not every pirate wore one.Umm...does this sound the least bit scientifical or serious to you?

FOR INSTANCE, WHY DO PIRATES ALWAYS HAVE ONE EYE MISSING? BECAUSE THEY PICKED A FIGHT WITH A NINJA, WHO PROMPTLY STUCK HIS KATANA NEATLY THROUGH THEIR EYE SOCKET, ALSO DAMAGING THE LANGUAGE CENTER OF THE BRAIN SO THAT THEY CAN'T PRONOUNCE MONOSYLLABIC WORDS AND SAY "YAR" A LOT.

[.sickling.]

Ninjas>Vampires>Pirates

[gufu1992]

Ninjas<Vampires<Pirates

[Maddox Tazer Mwuhaha]

shut up about it. all you peopole are talking crap about being ninjas and pirates. what you think you know about ninjas isnt true. the only thing is ninjas are secretive. they wouldnt be going around saying they were ninjas. they wouldnt have books about them so just drop it.

[.sickling.]

shut up about it. all you peopole are talking crap about being ninjas and pirates. what you think you know about ninjas isnt true. the only thing is ninjas are secretive. they wouldnt be going around saying they were ninjas. they wouldnt have books about them so just drop it.

The only thing "crap" in this thread is you.

[Syrito]

Everybody shut up.

Lumberjacks are totally superior.

[AriestheAlchemist]

Ninja own everyone. They are so quiet, they hardly ever end up in movies, books, or anything really. Ninja can kill EVERONE. They don't need guns. Oh and people, the plural for "ninja" is "ninja"! Don't say "Ninjas".

[gufu1992]

http://i162.photobucket.com/albums/t272/sirallenpayne/antininja_large.jpg

[ccc.money]

Omg is this story true??

If so,HILARIOUS!

[AriestheAlchemist]

I will single-handedly kill all pirates. I challenge y'all. Pirates+Ninja=World War 3

[ccc.money]

Lol I like Ninjas best too,so uhh..can I be a general in the war?

[AriestheAlchemist]

You can be my co-general. Together.. We will kill all pirates! Fwuhahahhahaha! And once again the plural is Ninja not Ninjas. If you can't say it right I'll make you walk the plank.

[theryman]

Do what you want cause a pirate is free! You are a pirate! Yar har fiddley dee. Being a pirate is all right to be! Do what you want cause a pirate is free. You are a pirate!

[.sickling.]

http://i162.photobucket.com/albums/t272/sirallenpayne/antininja_large.jpg

The only reason pirates have their weapons and heads is because ninja let them.

[gufu1992]

http://pid.bungie.org/images/tick_ninjas.jpg

[Dragonkil362]

wow i wanna kill that ninja