Dating AKA The Birds and the Bees

[Screech]

I thought since it comes up alot, I would compose a short Q&A of some common dating questions. Remember- this is only my opinion, and surprise, I'm not always right. But I hope this is helpfull. If anyone has any other advice, please post it in this thread. As well, if you have any other questions you would like me to respond to, I would gladly do so.

Q: I really like this girl, but how do I know if she likes me?

A: Well, for one, you could ASK her. But, if you arn't willing to just straight up ask, there are always signs you could look out for, such as her behavior around you. If she is flitatious or giggly around you, or giggly and just plain odd when her friends are around, that is usually a sure sign. Also, watch her body language. Is she keeping alot of eye contact with you or avoiding eye contact? Does her body movements match up with yours? (For example, if you cross your arms, does she do the same?)

My friends and I have coined a phrase to one of the most obvious signs- the Gay-###-Smile, or GAS. This is the big goofy smile you get when you like someone- If you think about them, if you talk about them, or when you see them, you will have a big grin. Do they have a big smile on their face when they talk to you? Whenever you join into a group conversation and she is there, does she have a big smile all of a sudden? Then my friends, she has GAS, and she likes you.

Another method is asking a mutual friend if they suspect so. An uninvolved person is usually the best to be able to read signs that you might of missed.

Q: I really like this girl, and I am almost certain she likes me too! How do I ask her out?

A: Hmm, How about straight out asking her? Usually keeping it to the point and not dancing around the matter is the best way to ask her out. Yes, it is usually hard to ask someone out, but you need to do it. Like a bandaid, rip it off.

And do it to her face. No notes, please. No getting friends to ask her for you. Suck it up and do it yourself.

Try asking her to go on a nice date, somewhere fun that you both will enjoy- just the two of you. You don't need to spend any money, just show the girl a good time, and she'll be yours.

Q: Ok, What do I do for the first date?

A: Firstly, you got to pick a place to go. Like I said before, choose someplace fun and that you both enjoy. Are you both into sports? Go play a few rounds of tennis at the local courts. You don't need to do something elaborate like you see on TV and in romance novels- there is no need to spend a bussload of money on a dinner. Anyways, something like a fancy dinner can be REALLY awkward- sometimes it feels like you have force conversation. If both of you are busy doing an activity, conversation flows more easily.

A big thing people forget to do is to look like you are having a good time. One thing that runs through peoples minds is "Oh no, am I boring them? Am I doing something wrong?" and things similar. Don't do this to your date- smile, laugh, and look happy. This will put them at ease and you at ease. Even if you are a nervous wreck, acting happy and calmly will rub off on your mood and make you feel better too.

And don't forget the basics. Be nice, be polite. Open doors for her, offer her your jacket if she looks cold, all the silly cheesy stuff girls fall head over heals for.

Q: Yikes! I like two girls, and they both like me! How do I choose?

A: Lucky boy! But I guess being in the situation itself doesn't feel very lucky.

The best way is to sit down with two pieces of paper. Write each girls name on the top of each paper, then write down the pros and cons of each girl. With the two lists, it makes it a lot easier to weigh your options and see which one is best for you at this point of your life.

Another really good method is the coin toss. Choose which girl is heads and which one is tails, then simply flip the coin. Tell yourself that you are going to choose the girl by fate- due to what the coin tells you. Then gauge your reaction. If the result feels good, stick with it. If something just doesn't feel right, go with the other girl. Trust your allmighty gut. This is a good method to solve alot of problems- this is how I chose which high school to go to!

Q: I really like this girl, but she doesn't like me. What do I do?

A: Duh. You force her to like you by singing under her window every night!

...Don't do that.

The truth is, you can't MAKE someone like you. The more you try, the more you seem like a complete creep! If she will ever like you, it will come in time. In the meantime, the best solution would be to keep your mind off this girl and move on. Spend a bit of time apart from her if you have to. Keep your mind busy; this is a great oppertunity to read some books, catch up in schoolwork, re-create the mona lisa out of noodles, whatever gets you through the day. There is no point moaning and groaning over some chick.

Q: How do I know when to make a move?

A: The easiest answer to this is pretty fustrating- when is feels right.

If you think it feels right, just go for it, make your move. Remember, mostly if either of you are unexpirienced, take it slowly. If she rejects your advance, don't feel bad about it: she most likely isn't ready yet. Don't take it to heart, it is nothing personal. Just respect her boundries.

But it is also fun to be a little spontanious! Catching her a little off guard can be exciting. But make sure it feels right and you arn't overpassing any boundries.

Q: I had enough! I treat girls really well, I'm always nice, I do all the right things, but I never get the girl! How come it is always the guys who treat women badly that get the girl?! ajfdf;sjfsoif!

A: I see alot of guys rant about this XD. In the long run, you WIN by respecting women. You win a girl that respects you, and more importantly, you win self respect.

But why do chicks like the bad guys? They are dangerous and unpredictable. It is a rush, and it is a very attractive feature. But with being dangerous and unpredictable, comes alot of unatractive features. Don't let the girl figure you out in ten minutes- try to be a bit more spontanious and dangerous, while respecting her. I know this is very tricky advice. Avoid being a lapdog- don't let her whip or controle you. Try to be a bit dominant in the relationship and stand ground. Try to give her that rush while letting her know that you are a safe guy after all.

Q: Ok, I've been going out with this girl, but I want to break up now. How do I do this?

A: Well, heres what NOT to do.

-Get a friend to break up with her for you
-Send her a letter/ e-mail
-Just stop talking to her and start avoiding her
-Tell her "We are over" then walk away without an explination
-Break up with her in front of people
-Break up with her during a really hard time of her life, or on a special occasion like her birthday or Christmas.

Come on people. Treat the break-up with respect! Dump someone how you would like to be dumped. If you have a good reason, she most likely realizes something is wrong too. Sit her down in a private place and explain your reasons. Be calm and reasonable- rehearse ahead of time. If she thinks the reasons are fixable, talk to her about it and discuss it- go into the conversation with an open mind if it is possiable. Both of you are leaving with good and bad memories.

After the breakup is going to be hard for BOTH of you. Remember, give yourself some personal time after a break up, and keep your mind busy. It is also good to give yourself space. I seem to find that alot of couples after they break up seem as tight knit as they were before the break up, but don't fool yourself- things WILL EXPLODE LATER AND IT WILL BE VERY MESSY. Mostly if you would like to keep a friendship, give yourself alot of space from this person untill things heal. (also remember, keeping a friendship is usually unrealistic and rarely happens.)

And remember not to bring mutual friends into it. It makes things awkward for everyone. The break-up is between you and only one other person. Keep it that way.

Of Birds and Bees -- By Vagrant



For starters, this basic fact must be remembered: We are all humans. Irregardless of our gender, our age, or our preferences, we are humans. We think like you do, and we think like everybody else does. This is perhaps the most basic key to a good relationship -- understanding that the other person has the same thoughts and feelings that you do, and that they don't disappear the second you don't see them.

Ok.

There are the obvious physical differences: Men have penises. Men are hairy. Men make a V shape from their shoulders to their waist, generally. Women have vaginas and breasts. Women generally have less body hair. Women generally have an hourglass shape from the shoulders to the hips.

I don't think I need to go into great depth there.

So, why is there still such confusion between the two genders? For now, we shall look at a few misunderstandings between the genders and miscommunications. Bear in mind this whole time: Everyone is human.

1) I keep dropping this guy hints, but he just doesn't seem to show any interest! He must not be interested in me!

As a guy, I can tell you straight away that this is not the case. Often, the hints dropped are subtle hints that a guy normally wouldn't pay attention to. Think of it this way: A guy is used to hanging out with friends and paying attention to big details, and the way other guys act, which is generally very attention-grabbing. When women drop these relatively subtle hints, many men will not recognize these hints, because they do not hang around women as much. The only solution to this is to be a bit more up-front or be a bit more overt. As a guy, I know he'll appreciate it if you're more attention-grabbing.

(And on a personal level, it's frustrating as a guy when I have this nagging feeling that a girl's interested, but I can't verify it.)

2) This girl doesn't seem to like me! What can I do to fix this?

The answer is plain and simple dude -- she just doesn't like you. You can't make a girl like you. It's like the ugliest girl in class hitting on you -- no matter how much she tries to "sweeten the deal," odds are, you still won't like her. So if a girl doesn't like you, don't sweat it. Just be yourself. If she doesn't like you for yourself, then it's probably a good thing she's not interested.

3) I want this guy/girl to ask me out!

Well, I'm sorry stud/studdess, but unless you do something about it, chances are, it won't happen. Smiling at some guy as he walks down the hall, or making wooing sounds at a girl as she walks by won't get you asked out, period. Take the initiative. This applies to girls as well, because frankly, a lot of guys are just as timid as you. And guys -- girls are timid as well. There's a lot of unnecessary fear.

4) Alright, so I'm asking them out. How do I do that?

You're on the right track m'boy! Taking action is a good step. But how do you do it? The answer again is simple (but takes courage). Straight to their face, ask them out. It can be to a school dance, a movie, anything. You should have a few things prioritized first though:
Have your schedule clear. Remember, not everyone has your exact schedule.
If you're a guy, be prepared to pay for the entire thing. It will cost money if you're going to the movies or something. If you're a girl, bring enough money to pay for halfway. While I don't like the double standard, it's still considered tremendously rude for a girl to have to pay for the whole thing.Once those two things are dealt with, ask him/her straight out.

5) Oh, well girls/guys are just idiots.

No, they are not. Remember, we are all humans. Everyone thinks fairly similarly. Women get horny, guys get horny. Nobody should be idolized or portrayed in a negative manner, unless the individual himself/herself has earned it.

6) Why does she go out with jerks?

Frankly, I just don't know. There's a lot of speculation out there with guys, and even a lot of girls don't understand it either. Some of the theories I've heard are as follows:
The girl may have low esteem, and thus feels she should be going out with someone who mistreats her.
The girl may not want to focus on her own faults.
There is something "dangerous" about the guy, and the girl thinks she can tame him. The reality is, if he's a jerk, it's a problem within himself that can't be fixed unless he does it.
It has to do partly with the menstration cycles. During one part, women are more prone to like jerky guys, while during the other part they're more likely to enjoy the company of more sensative guys.
Danielle says: "It's like when you were a kid and your parents told you not to do something so it made you want to do it more. You know you shouldn't date a jerk, so that makes it all the more exciting."7) Why are guys so noisy and do stupid stuff?

Well, for one, it's a part of how guys are raised. And for a second thing, guys learn through kinesthetics. While it may seem to be unnecessary to you, guys will often roughhouse and goof off with each other as a form of bonding. Many friendships are made with fights between guys. While it may seem contradictory, it is actually a lot of fun to roughhouse, and thus friendships are made. There is an unspoken "guy code (http://forums.xgenstudios.com/showthread.php?t=76995)" through which such fights will form friendships. The guy code makes the fights honorable and fair, and thus, fun.

8) Well, screw it, it's too complex!

No, my friend. It's rather simple, actually. I don't think I need to make it simpler than basic biology -- Person A is attracted to Person B. Person A courts Person B. Person A hopes for a shot at sex, and possibly a longer relationship.

One of the most basic human needs (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Basic_human_needs) is sex, and it goes without saying that this is perfectly natural. Just relax, and remember, the other girl/guy is a human too. So don't be afraid.

9) I don't like him/her anymore. How can I dump them?

First thing's first, ask yourself, "Why do I not like him/her anymore?" If you can't honestly answer that question, then perhaps you're just bored. Liven up the relationship a little. It's like a flower -- you have to water it now and then.

However, if you've come up with an honest answer, like, "He/she's cheated on me," then you have a valid reason for a breakup.

Now, there are many ways to go about this. However, most likely, if you can tell there's something wrong in the relationship, chances are, the other person can tell too. The best way is, once again, to tell them straight to their face. Breaking up on the net or via phone is really harsh to a person, and it's also seen as cowardly.

10) He/she broke up with me for X (or no) reason! I feel so sad. What can I do?

Well, it depends on you, to be honest. First and foremost though, do not seek revenge, and do not hold a grudge. That does not mean you need to talk to them afterward though. However, holding a grudge can have a negative effect on your other relationships.

Now, recovering from an emotional wound like this is not easy. However, the old adage applies here: "Time heals all wounds." Just give it some time, and you'll get over it.

Important Note: Don't go into any special relationships during the next week or two -- you are still on the rebound, and your emotions are not what they normally are. You may find that being picked up on the rebound may cause even more problems. So be a little patient, and recover.

[fruitycaker1]

Since I know this was meant to be...
<.<

Sticky!

[Tanktunker]

Q: Ok, I've been going out with this girl, but I want to break up now. How do I do this?

A: Well, heres what NOT to do.

-Get a friend to break up with her for you
-Send her a letter/ e-mail
-Just stop talking to her and start avoiding her
-Tell her "We are over" then walk away without an explination
-Break up with her in front of people
-Break up with her during a really hard time of her life, or on a special occasion like her birthday or Christmas.

Come on people. Treat the break-up with respect! Dump someone how you would like to be dumped. If you have a good reason, she most likely realizes something is wrong too. Sit her down in a private place and explain your reasons. Be calm and reasonable- rehearse ahead of time. If she thinks the reasons are fixable, talk to her about it and discuss it- go into the conversation with an open mind if it is possiable. Both of you are leaving with good and bad memories.

After the breakup is going to be hard for BOTH of you. Remember, give yourself some personal time after a break up, and keep your mind busy. It is also good to give yourself space. I seem to find that alot of couples after they break up seem as tight knit as they were before the break up, but don't fool yourself- things WILL EXPLODE LATER AND IT WILL BE VERY MESSY. Mostly if you would like to keep a friendship, give yourself alot of space from this person untill things heal. (also remember, keeping a friendship is usually unrealistic and rarely happens.)

And remember not to bring mutual friends into it. It makes things awkward for everyone. The break-up is between you and only one other person. Keep it that way.
Send her a letter with a dead squirrel and a message "Like this squirrel, my love for you has expired"?

[redwater40]

well done, i see you are trying to make this a sticky... anyways, you should correct some on your spelling errors. boundries "are" not a word. it is boundaries.

[Sperry]

>_>
<_<
>_>

Yhey.


Others: Ah, lay off. A spelling mitsake is commonplace; ranting on about it in an overly-hypocritical sense is just plain annoying.
Yes. I know. It's there for the point. Please, feel free to point that out. M'kay? Monkey.

[The Prodigal]

Good points. This'll come in handy for plenty of people.

[Espo Mk. II]

yes, but what if a girl likes you, you dont like that girl and somebody else already dates that girl and they accuse of you trying to steal that girl away from him, what do you do?

[the Gooch]

yes, but what if a girl likes you, you dont like that girl and somebody else already dates that girl and they accuse of you trying to steal that girl away from him, what do you do?

don't go for the girl because you don't like her...and stay away from other dudes game, unless you like the girl when its worth it.

[_Fire]

You forgot one more tip for "I really like this girl, but she doesn't like me. What do I do?"

A. Threaten to chop up her parents into little bits!

Then, she'll never break up with you! xD.

[Kevim]

Here is one I need answering to.

Q: I know one girl that likes me. She is normally really cool, and before she did we were decent friends. But now she is just all giggly and gay around me. I know she doesn't really like me, and it is just a crush. I'd still like to start a relationship though, I just want to know if once we are hooked up she'd stop acting like a horny little 8 year-old on ectasy around me.

[Screech]

Q: I know one girl that likes me. She is normally really cool, and before she did we were decent friends. But now she is just all giggly and gay around me. I know she doesn't really like me, and it is just a crush. I'd still like to start a relationship though, I just want to know if once we are hooked up she'd stop acting like a horny little 8 year-old on ectasy around me.

Depends on a lot of things. It depends alot on her maturity level. The giggly and gay part will wear off once the initial crush part wears off. In my expirience of relationships, the giggly crush part wears off in about three months (Keep in mind, the ending of that period is the break up point of many couples). If you would like a relationship- try it. That giggly girl goodness wears off.

[nirE]

Hey, nice points, Jo. I like the idea of you just going ahead and making a Q & A. I agree with you on the most part. I'm just here to tell you all this, heh.

[Blixinator]

This will hopefully prevent many threads from being made.

[Vagrant]

You forgot one more tip for "I really like this girl, but she doesn't like me. What do I do?"

A. Threaten to chop up her parents into little bits!

Then, she'll never break up with you! xD.

"That's romantic AND slightly threatening!"

[Kirk]

Send her a letter with a dead squirrel and a message "Like this squirrel, my love for you has expired"?

Jerk...

[nirE]

"That's romantic AND slightly threatening!"

You just quoted my favourite show. Kudos. </spam>

Sorry.

[Woolfenstien]

I have the best pick up lines for the computer people: "Me and you are like SLI; we're great on our own but we'd be better together".
:)

[Endless]

If you like someone that doesn't like you sneak up behind them and grope them like a crazy person. Thats the closest you'll get to ever hitting it.

Or you could just move on and find someone else, that works too.

[Espo Mk. II]

You just quoted my favourite show. Kudos. </spam>

Sorry.which show, the simpsons?

/ontopic/ who made this a sticky?

[mguby814]

omg this REALY REALY REALY HELPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

man this might seem like im just lucky but, not trying 2 brag i realy get nervous bcuz 2 reasons:

SHES WIT HER FRIENDS!- i cant find her alone except in school...but we only have like 1min 2 get 2 class!
and.....
SHES 2 HOUSES AWAY FRM ME!-this isthe big banger.....if i say somtin stupid!
well i dont realy kno wat she could do...but it still gets me nervous!

[I Faw Down]

ok...I want to ask this girl out...she is always around friends and the only time she is "alone" is when shes going to her bus...but we are around a lot of people...what should I do?

[AssaultRifle]

ok...I want to ask this girl out...she is always around friends and the only time she is "alone" is when shes going to her bus...but we are around a lot of people...what should I do?

Walk right up to her and say smoothly, 'Hey, can I talk to you for a second?'. She will get the idea that you want to speak with her away from her friends.

[Honeycomb]

Just wondering, how would you get a hot or nice looking girl to start noticing or liking you?

[zecantu]

Then my friends, she has GAS, and she likes you.


You make me laugh.

xD

[Vagrant]

Don't let the girl figure you out in ten minutes- try to be a bit more spontanious and dangerous, while respecting her.

Although I'm bumping the topic slightly, I just remembered a character from a movie who best fits that description.

The character "V" in V for Vendetta (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/V_for_Vendetta_%28film%29), best describes a mysterious, but respectful man. He is the type of man anybody would admire, because he has noble intentions, but he also keeps his cool.

[Halo007]

The way to get a girl to notice you is too make loud annoying noises! And when she hears you be like "Hey, I really want to #### you behind Kmart... I don't have a condom but I do have this milky way wrapper!" And she'll be all over you.


Be yourself (Unless yourself would be a pshycopathic pervert...) act like your talking to a friend be funny and smooth at the same time. Well to get her interested in talking with you will take some time... My body needed no explaining so I had no trouble with that... XD

[Alphaniner]

You just quoted my favourite show. Kudos. </spam>

Sorry.

You watch Fairly Oddparents?


Nice pointers. Yeah, I know most of this stuff, 3 slaps, and 1 slurpee in the face later...

[Espo Mk. II]

This will hopefully prevent many threads from being made.yea, and have them post their problems here.

[Shadow Crest]

The ultimate advice:

#### her. Just do it and get it over with.

[Espo Mk. II]

who should make the first move? boy or girl?

[Kevim]

Is it acceptable to make fun of my girlfriend.

I mean, she does it all the time to me, but I'm a bit afraid she will lash out or take an insult of mine too seriously. Like... if I get doing a physical activity before she does, then she will poke fun about my flabbidy goodness. Would a "Pot calling the kettle black" comment be okay right there?

[mattz1010]

Actually, yeah.

A good question to add to the FAQ is "What if I don't like a girl but she likes me?"

Edit: if you can say it in a funny, joking way, almost anything's acceptable.

[Honeycomb]

There is this girl I like, but I dont want to ask her out cause... I'm a big #####. We hardly talk but to me, it feels like we have some sort of connection. Like communicating without words. And when we talk, shes nice to me and smiles alot, blah blah blah.

I'll just wait and see if she does anything around me, then MAYBE, I'll ask her out.

[Lifeless]

Honeycomb-

Just try to start a conversation with her. You'll be able to tell if she likes you if she makes a face, cuz it means she's interested in talking to you, and thinks that you care about what you have to say.

P.S.- what sp episode is your avatar from?

[Honeycomb]

Honeycomb-

Just try to start a conversation with her. You'll be able to tell if she likes you if she makes a face, cuz it means she's interested in talking to you, and thinks that you care about what you have to say.

P.S.- what sp episode is your avatar from?

Alright then...

I made that character, he's not in a episode. I made a few characters looking like me using this program. Go on google and search "Create your own south park character."

[Lifeless]

Alright then...

I made that character, he's not in a episode. I made a few characters looking like me using this program. Go on google and search "Create your own south park character."
Dude that is sooo cool! Good luck with ur should-be gf.

[Mykester]

fine, i see no point making a thread. How do i get a girl to like more instead. Not date, just like me more.

[cdf50]

fine, i see no point making a thread. How do i get a girl to like more instead. Not date, just like me more.

lol ok listen carefully.. i mean read carefully. hire some thugs to get her, take her to a warehouse and then go in there with a shot gun with blanks and threaten to kill them and chase after them while there running away and later tell her police got them and is deporting them :-) good luck. but seriously... just be funy, girls like funny people lol

[Alice Cooper]

Yeah, I've got that whole "I'm in a cwaaazy love triangle" problem goin' on... What the heck do I do?

[Mykester]

lol ok listen carefully.. i mean read carefully. hire some thugs to get her, take her to a warehouse and then go in there with a shot gun with blanks and threaten to kill them and chase after them while there running away and later tell her police got them and is deporting them :-) good luck. but seriously... just be funy, girls like funny people lol

Lol go masturbate

[cdf50]

ok

[Illidan]

Yeah, I've got that whole "I'm in a cwaaazy love triangle" problem goin' on... What the heck do I do?

I do too, I'd like to see a solution to it.

[Mykester]

take the two girls. So if one dumps u, u still have another gf

if its u n another guy, beat the #### outta him and call her a #####

[Illidan]

Heh, I've actually considered it. But its like my male friend somehow got her attracted to him, and now I'm left in the dust... Again... Heh, now that I look back on it. Ouch.

[darkfalcon62]

ok im going out with this girl but her parents dont know and she can only go out with friends so how do i go on a date with her? also weve been going out for like 5-7 weeks and all weve done is hug and ive never made out with anyone so yeah how do i make my move?

[Mykester]

ok im going out with this girl but her parents dont know and she can only go out with friends so how do i go on a date with her? also weve been going out for like 5-7 weeks and all weve done is hug and ive never made out with anyone so yeah how do i make my move?

Wow that is easy... She can just tell her parents she is going to the park. Or if she has a dog, you can meet her when she's walking it. She can say she is going to the movies with friends, but instead she's going with you.

[Obi-Wan Kenobi]

Hey you guys. I've seen the stuff that you have put up. DarkFalcon, give what Mykester said a try.
I have a question too, sort of similar to other ones on this thread. I like this girl and she is really nice. She is the first girl I've met who hasn't thrown away immediately something that I buy her, but keeps it. Yet, I still don't think I have her in my grasp (as in her liking me). I asked her out once and she said that she was not allowed (by parents). Now we just talk these days. Can anyone help me get her to be my GF. Also, please don't put any advice about "doing her" behind K-Mart because it gets on my nerves and I would never do that. If any of you can find advice, that would be great. Thanks!

[Adam]

This will help me in the future, greatly.

[Endless]

Hey you guys. I've seen the stuff that you have put up. DarkFalcon, give what Mykester said a try.
I have a question too, sort of similar to other ones on this thread. I like this girl and she is really nice. She is the first girl I've met who hasn't thrown away immediately something that I buy her, but keeps it. Yet, I still don't think I have her in my grasp (as in her liking me). I asked her out once and she said that she was not allowed (by parents). Now we just talk these days. Can anyone help me get her to be my GF. Also, please don't put any advice about "doing her" behind K-Mart because it gets on my nerves and I would never do that. If any of you can find advice, that would be great. Thanks!

Ask her out again. Or throw a party/"get-together" for your friends, her, and any other girls you might be friendly with. Give you guys a chance to hang out and grow on each other. Go to a movie or something

[reggiethedorf]

give it time, obi-wan. just continue to talk alot , eventually she will warm up to you and will find a way to have an outing. you got to be patient.

[Vagrant]

Well, following that little umm... disaster... thread, I felt like it was time for a little explanation for both sexes.



For starters, this basic fact must be remembered: We are all humans. Irregardless of our gender, our age, or our preferences, we are humans. We think like you do, and we think like everybody else does. This is perhaps the most basic key to a good relationship -- understanding that the other person has the same thoughts and feelings that you do, and that they don't disappear the second you don't see them.

Ok.

There are the obvious physical differences: Men have penises. Men are hairy. Men make a V shape from their shoulders to their waist, generally. Women have vaginas and breasts. Women generally have less body hair. Women generally have an hourglass shape from the shoulders to the hips.

I don't think I need to go into great depth there.

So, why is there still such confusion between the two genders? For now, we shall look at a few misunderstandings between the genders and miscommunications. Bear in mind this whole time: Everyone is human.

1) I keep dropping this guy hints, but he just doesn't seem to show any interest! He must not be interested in me!

As a guy, I can tell you straight away that this is not the case. Often, the hints dropped are subtle hints that a guy normally wouldn't pay attention to. Think of it this way: A guy is used to hanging out with friends and paying attention to big details, and the way other guys act, which is generally very attention-grabbing. When women drop these relatively subtle hints, many men will not recognize these hints, because they do not hang around women as much. The only solution to this is to be a bit more up-front or be a bit more overt. As a guy, I know he'll appreciate it if you're more attention-grabbing.

(And on a personal level, it's frustrating as a guy when I have this nagging feeling that a girl's interested, but I can't verify it.)

2) This girl doesn't seem to like me! What can I do to fix this?

The answer is plain and simple dude -- she just doesn't like you. You can't make a girl like you. It's like the ugliest girl in class hitting on you -- no matter how much she tries to "sweeten the deal," odds are, you still won't like her. So if a girl doesn't like you, don't sweat it. Just be yourself. If she doesn't like you for yourself, then it's probably a good thing she's not interested.

3) I want this guy/girl to ask me out!

Well, I'm sorry stud/studdess, but unless you do something about it, chances are, it won't happen. Smiling at some guy as he walks down the hall, or making wooing sounds at a girl as she walks by won't get you asked out, period. Take the initiative. This applies to girls as well, because frankly, a lot of guys are just as timid as you. And guys -- girls are timid as well. There's a lot of unnecessary fear.

4) Alright, so I'm asking them out. How do I do that?

You're on the right track m'boy! Taking action is a good step. But how do you do it? The answer again is simple (but takes courage). Straight to their face, ask them out. It can be to a school dance, a movie, anything. You should have a few things prioritized first though:
Have your schedule clear. Remember, not everyone has your exact schedule.
If you're a guy, be prepared to pay for the entire thing. It will cost money if you're going to the movies or something. If you're a girl, bring enough money to pay for halfway. While I don't like the double standard, it's still considered tremendously rude for a girl to have to pay for the whole thing.Once those two things are dealt with, ask him/her straight out.

5) Oh, well girls/guys are just idiots.

No, they are not. Remember, we are all humans. Everyone thinks fairly similarly. Women get horny, guys get horny. Nobody should be idolized or portrayed in a negative manner, unless the individual himself/herself has earned it.

6) Why does she go out with jerks?

Frankly, I just don't know. There's a lot of speculation out there with guys, and even a lot of girls don't understand it either. Some of the theories I've heard are as follows:
The girl may have low esteem, and thus feels she should be going out with someone who mistreats her.
The girl may not want to focus on her own faults.
There is something "dangerous" about the guy, and the girl thinks she can tame him. The reality is, if he's a jerk, it's a problem within himself that can't be fixed unless he does it.
It has to do partly with the menstration cycles. During one part, women are more prone to like jerky guys, while during the other part they're more likely to enjoy the company of more sensative guys.
Danielle says: "It's like when you were a kid and your parents told you not to do something so it made you want to do it more. You know you shouldn't date a jerk, so that makes it all the more exciting."7) Why are guys so noisy and do stupid stuff?

Well, for one, it's a part of how guys are raised. And for a second thing, guys learn through kinesthetics. While it may seem to be unnecessary to you, guys will often roughhouse and goof off with each other as a form of bonding. Many friendships are made with fights between guys. While it may seem contradictory, it is actually a lot of fun to roughhouse, and thus friendships are made. There is an unspoken "guy code (http://forums.xgenstudios.com/showthread.php?t=76995)" through which such fights will form friendships. The guy code makes the fights honorable and fair, and thus, fun.

8) Well, screw it, it's too complex!

No, my friend. It's rather simple, actually. I don't think I need to make it simpler than basic biology -- Person A is attracted to Person B. Person A courts Person B. Person A hopes for a shot at sex, and possibly a longer relationship.

One of the most basic human needs (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Basic_human_needs) is sex, and it goes without saying that this is perfectly natural. Just relax, and remember, the other girl/guy is a human too. So don't be afraid.

9) I don't like him/her anymore. How can I dump them?

First thing's first, ask yourself, "Why do I not like him/her anymore?" If you can't honestly answer that question, then perhaps you're just bored. Liven up the relationship a little. It's like a flower -- you have to water it now and then.

However, if you've come up with an honest answer, like, "He/she's cheated on me," then you have a valid reason for a breakup.

Now, there are many ways to go about this. However, most likely, if you can tell there's something wrong in the relationship, chances are, the other person can tell too. The best way is, once again, to tell them straight to their face. Breaking up on the net or via phone is really harsh to a person, and it's also seen as cowardly.

10) He/she broke up with me for X (or no) reason! I feel so sad. What can I do?

Well, it depends on you, to be honest. First and foremost though, do not seek revenge, and do not hold a grudge. That does not mean you need to talk to them afterward though. However, holding a grudge can have a negative effect on your other relationships.

Now, recovering from an emotional wound like this is not easy. However, the old adage applies here: "Time heals all wounds." Just give it some time, and you'll get over it.

Important Note: Don't go into any special relationships during the next week or two -- you are still on the rebound, and your emotions are not what they normally are. You may find that being picked up on the rebound may cause even more problems. So be a little patient, and recover.

[denacioust]

Nice thread. Well written and for the most part true. Except for the whole picking up on girls subtle hints. I can almost tell within the first minute of talking to a girl if she likes me, even if I'm not talking to her, if I just pass her I can always tell.

Alot of good points raised in this though. Should be helpful for our more romantically challenged members.

[MushroomMammoth]

This will be a good guide to some people. Vide the guy who wrote that thread, wossname, 'How to Get a Guy in 10 Days'...

[Woolfenstien]

Stick'd?

Stick'd.

Excellent thread, Vagrant.

[Guybrush Threepwood]

I thought the other one was more helpful...

[denacioust]

You mean the bees and bees thread?


LAWL I MAKED FAG JOKE

[Woolfenstien]

Or the birds and the birds thread.

Ohh lala.

[Joest]

Nice thread, Vag.

[JoeyG]

I don't want to start a debate here, but claiming that girls should only have to pay for (at most) half isn't really a double standard, because on average women make less than men do in the workplace.

[Vagrant]

I don't want to start a debate here, but claiming that girls should only have to pay for (at most) half isn't really a double standard, because on average women make less than men do in the workplace.

But that isn't the reason why the standard exists. It's considered customary for the guy to pay for the date, regardless of age or work.

[h00pla]

Nice thread. Well written and for the most part true. Except for the whole picking up on girls subtle hints. I can almost tell within the first minute of talking to a girl if she likes me, even if I'm not talking to her, if I just pass her I can always tell.

Alot of good points raised in this though. Should be helpful for our more romantically challenged members.

Den, can I pay you to follow me around and let me about these things then? apparently I (like my father) am completely oblivious to this.

[denacioust]

Yup, just be warned if I'm the one that gets turned on.

[h00pla]

I would hope you would also be jealous if another person was coming on to me, but if you get turned on that's okay too

[Hex]

As for the "Why does she go out with jerks?" section, that's half right.

It has to do partly with the menstration cycles. During one part, women are more prone to like jerky guys, while during the other part they're more likely to enjoy the company of more sensative guys.

Plus, Jerks are just wild and fun. They're exhilirating and you feel bad just wanting to be with them. You love to hate them.

[Guybrush Threepwood]

Wouldn't it be 'you hate to love them'?

[denacioust]

No

[Guybrush Threepwood]

Then it doesn't make sense to me...

[denacioust]

Yeah well you're all confused...being a homo...sexual and all...

[Hex]

You don't love them. You love what they do. Without the personality they're nothing.

[Danielle]

It's like when you were a kid and your parents told you not to do something so it made you want to do it more. You know you shouldn't date a jerk, so that makes it all the more exciting.

[The Prodigal]

Excellent thread Vagrant.

And gentlemen, c'mon. Once you have a girlfriend, there's no point in video games. You sacrifice your life outside of her for, well, her. So instead of saving that money for Halo 2-and-a-half, spend it on her.

Sooner or later you'll realize it isn't worth it. ;)

[MushroomMammoth]

Spending money? Yes, I spent money for an X-mas present, and for the necklace she assumed was mine, and now all I'm left with is regrets.

Stupid male instincts.

[Vagrant]

As for the "Why does she go out with jerks?" section, that's half right.

It has to do partly with the menstration cycles. During one part, women are more prone to like jerky guys, while during the other part they're more likely to enjoy the company of more sensative guys.

Plus, Jerks are just wild and fun. They're exhilirating and you feel bad just wanting to be with them. You love to hate them.

Thanks for reminding me. I added that.

Also added what you said Danielle.

Added a "dealing with breakups" section.

[Karl]

I'm sorry, but the only thing I could think about while reading this thread is that 'irregardless' is not a word. At all. 'Regardless' is fine.

Irregardless

...

>.<

[Danielle]

http://dictionary.reference.com/search?r=2&q=irregardless
Nonstandard but in the dictionary none the less.

[Vagrant]

Besides, I don't speak perfectly proper grammar. :P

[aang133]

okay what happends when my girlfriend dumps me for my best friend.who pressured me into likeing someone.!

[Kravers]

Thank you, I used this and now I have a hot girlfriend named Alex. And not to mention her good sence of humor.

[MushroomMammoth]

Spending money? Yes, I spent money for an X-mas present, and for the necklace she assumed was mine, and now all I'm left with is regrets.

Stupid male instincts.

But alas, now when ya have a girlfriend you forget about all that. Sort of a pesimist/optimist cycle.

[Vagrant]

okay what happends when my girlfriend dumps me for my best friend.who pressured me into likeing someone.!

Well... if I understand that correctly... your best friend is a dick. It's up to you to decide what to do.

[Honeycomb]

Ok, so theres this chick, right? Uhm, ya, uhm... YA, so ANNNNYWAYS...

My friends sometimes bother me that I like my friends ex's friend (lol) but I don't. They say that she likes me cause she says I'm a nice guy and not mean like my other friends (Which is funny cause that's completely un-true). My friend sometimes say that she's on MSN and asks if I want her in the convo and I said "Don't care" and he says "nah, nvm". Well later on, I start to like her. She smilies at me sometimes in the hallway, looks at me funny, says hi very few times and once, flirted with me (Not really I guess) abit.

A month or two back, my friend randomly told me on MSN that she likes some other guy. I see them hang out sometimes and maybe walk home togheter, go to IGA at lunch togheter. I do hang out with her for abit everytime I see her which is maybe a few times a month.

So, should I steal her away from him with my amazing charm or what? I dont know.

[jason]

Ok, so theres this chick, right? Uhm, ya, uhm... YA, so ANNNNYWAYS...

My friends sometimes bother me that I like my friends ex's friend (lol) but I don't. They say that she likes me cause she says I'm a nice guy and not mean like my other friends (Which is funny cause that's completely un-true). My friend sometimes say that she's on MSN and asks if I want her in the convo and I said "Don't care" and he says "nah, nvm". Well later on, I start to like her. She smilies at me sometimes in the hallway, looks at me funny, says hi very few times and once, flirted with me (Not really I guess) abit.

A month or two back, my friend randomly told me on MSN that she likes some other guy. I see them hang out sometimes and maybe walk home togheter, go to IGA at lunch togheter. I do hang out with her for abit everytime I see her which is maybe a few times a month.

So, should I steal her away from him with my amazing charm or what? I dont know.

Yes. You should.

[AssaultRifle]

Honeycomb, take her. You will be glad you did when you look back on it all.

[Honeycomb]

Yeah.

I'll try and hang out with her more if I get the chance. I don't want to ask her out right away and make a fool out of myself if she rejects me. I know she would tell all her friends, trust me. But I could be wrong. Once she gives enough hints, I'll make the move.

[bullettime bob]

I have an addition to the list on the first post.
This girl/guy likes me, but I don't like him/her! How do I tell him/her?

[JoeyG]

[name]... you know we're just friends, right?

Not exactly rocket science.

[denacioust]

Yeah, just say straight up you like them, just not THAT way...

[Dragonkil362]

edit----- ill make my own thread about this one problen i got lol

[bullettime bob]

[name]... you know we're just friends, right?

Not exactly rocket science.
I meant they should add that to the first post. Not that I actually have that problem.

[Darth Vader]

I dislike with 95% of what's written in the first post. Too simplistic, while it claims to say "we are humans" it's not taken into account really. Infact time doesn't heal any wound. I am one of the lucky guys mentioned there, tossing a coin makes no good as well as using a paper and take notes wether o ask out or dump. Asking out isn't feasible most of times, but it's easy to write that. The best discussion should be how to overcome fear, that would deserve a sticky and actually be helpful.

[BlueEVIL420]

One thing I haven't seen listed is age difference problems, and siblings getting involved.

[removed]

[h00pla]

One thing I haven't seen listed is age difference problems, and siblings getting involved.
<insert big story here>

How large is the age difference? Personally I find it a little on the creepier side if you and him are on the opposite sides of 20. Then again I watched my uncle's friend who's 26 marry a girl I used to know who's 18. I thought it was a little wierd.

[BlueEVIL420]

[removed]

[h00pla]

I'm assuming you're under twenty? And probably under 18?

THe bigegst problem with that is any sexual relationship you may have constitutes stagitory (fairly certain that's the correct spelling) rape according to the law.

[DarkReality]

statutory. For all questions related to spelling, www.dictionary.com (http://www.dictionary.com). It shows initiative to actually FIND OUT if your spelling is correct rather than stating it might be :-)

8 years is a big gap. He might be "all you want in a man" now, but who knows if he really is. Your sister might only be trying to protect you from a terrible, terrible relationship with an older man who probably has completely different priorities than you (children, marriage, moving together, etc). I think it would be better to just let go.

[h00pla]

statuatory. For all questions related to spelling, www.dictionary.com (http://www.dictionary.com). It shows initiative to actually FIND OUT if your spelling is correct rather than stating it might be :-)

8 years is a big gap. He might be "all you want in a man" now, but who knows if he really is. Your sister might only be trying to protect you from a terrible, terrible relationship with an older man who probably has completely different priorities than you (children, marriage, moving together, etc). I think it would be better to just let go.

It passed my test of writing it out in Word and then right clicking it for the proper spelling. It just didn't look right to me then, I know why.

[BlueEVIL420]

[removed]

[h00pla]

No one has yet chosen to offer advice regarding my sister. (and getting her to STFU)

that's because most of us agree to one degree or another with your sister. 8 years is a big difference, especially if one of you is still a minor.

[DarkReality]

It passed my test of writing it out in Word and then right clicking it for the proper spelling. It just didn't look right to me then, I know why.

That's because Word is a piece of ####. And I humbly apologize. I spelled it wrong as well >_>

[h00pla]

That's because Word is a piece of ####. And I humbly apologize. I spelled it wrong as well >_>
Think nothing of it. Technology gives even the most awesome of us the finger once in a while

[pseudo-jesus]

I never understood the phrase "birds and the bees"...Are the birds literally having sex with the bees?

[Vagrant]

The idea is that the "bee" "stings" the "bird." The "bird" lays "eggs."

Yes, lot's of quotation marks. You should get the idea though.

[pseudo-jesus]

I never understood why we need an awkward metaphor though. Would it kill parents to say "sex talk"?

[Joest]

The perfect way to break up with a girl.

Tell her 'You have really nice tits, but I really don't like you'.

[Mod#4]

No, joest.
Tell her you want to get with her mom.

[Kie]

well thanks this guide is very helpfull

[n3xus]

thx, ive always wondered wat that meant.

[deafman]

I've read this somewhere.

[Hidden_Anbu]

i know this is a slight bump, but i have a q

I like this girl and she likes me we flirt and blah blah...but shes in a relationship with an abusive guy and continues to tell me this, however every time she breaks up wit him she goes back what do I do????

[Woolfenstien]

Move on because she's back with him and it would probably be a short or crap relationship.

Seriously, would you want to be going out with her only for her to dump you on Friday but when Monday comes around she wants to go back to you?

[Kilut]

Ok so me and this girl are really good friends, we talk about pretty much everything, including relationship stuff, and I always ask her for advice and stuff. I have liked her for awhile now, but she has a boyfriend and they've been going out for a couple months. And also, when and if they break up, how long should I wait to ask her out? Another problem is the fact that she is friends with one of my cousins, so if I ask her out and she says no, we will still run into each other, and heck, I'd just miss the conversations. We also both go to different schools and shes a year older than me.

[denacioust]

If they break up I wouldn't move in too quick. If you two talk about alot, it means she trusts you, which counts for a lot with girls.
Don't be afraid of asking a girl out. If she says no, that's it, it won't be all that bad afterward.

[Kilut]

Thanks a lot, but that is also one of my biggest issues, because I know that about a year ago, she didn't like me. But now, If they break up I can only think about me asking her out and all the comsequences of the no.

As you have probly guessed, I have crap in terms of confidence.

[deafman]

don't get your hopes up it maybe that they never do. If you really like her then just keep it the way it is. She most likely will only think of you as a friend because your not the romantic type.

[Mason]

don't get your hopes up it maybe that they never do. If you really like her then just keep it the way it is. She most likely will only think of you as a friend because your not the romantic type.

This thread's already been solved. Don't bump this.

[Kilut]

I don't think anybody noticed my edit up there so-

How will I know when a girl is being flirtatious, a #####, kidding around, likes you, or is just messing with you? I can post convs as an example, but not right now, I'm really busy.

I also changed my focus from that girl I was talkin about earlier to a different girl, cuz that one was goin nowhere (just friends), don't know if I wanna ask for advice or not though

[Voyager102]

There's something else I haven't seen here which relates to my problem:

I have a friend who has a sister(who's my age) whom I like. I figure I probably have a good chance that she'll say yes if I ask her out but I don't know how my friend will take it. If he takes it well, then I have no problems but if he doesn't I don't want to have to lose a friend for a girl.
So what should I do?

[Matt]

There's something else I haven't seen here which relates to my problem:

I have a friend who has a sister(who's my age) whom I like. I figure I probably have a good chance that she'll say yes if I ask her out but I don't know how my friend will take it. If he takes it well, then I have no problems but if he doesn't I don't want to have to lose a friend for a girl.
So what should I do?
Always choose Bro over Hoe.
Or so the saying goes. Maybe ask your friend "hypothetically" about your situation and see his reaction.

[Vagrant]

Ask your friend first. If he gives the green, then by all means, go ahead.

[wolverine1231]

Here is one I need answering to.

Q: I know one girl that likes me. She is normally really cool, and before she did we were decent friends. But now she is just all giggly and gay around me. I know she doesn't really like me, and it is just a crush. I'd still like to start a relationship though, I just want to know if once we are hooked up she'd stop acting like a horny little 8 year-old on ectasy around me.

Well m8 these things could happen
1.She could stop acting weird around you since your going out with her.
2.She could still act weird and possible weirder since your dating her.
3.She could stop being weird but turn #####y.
4.She could stop being wierd but turn "braggy"(brags to all her freinds)
5.She could be eaten by evil elves.(not common but possible)

[wolverine1231]

There's something else I haven't seen here which relates to my problem:

I have a friend who has a sister(who's my age) whom I like. I figure I probably have a good chance that she'll say yes if I ask her out but I don't know how my friend will take it. If he takes it well, then I have no problems but if he doesn't I don't want to have to lose a friend for a girl.
So what should I do?

Well this is all im going to say.If you really like her go for it dude.If your freind is really your freind he'll except it.If not well then hes not a good freind now is he?

[Bow Chicka Bow Wow]

Copy and pasta from my thread on here. Also, I don't think she likes me, she just doesn't really hold an interest in me.

Well, here's my situation.

I like a few girls in my class, but I really like this one chick in my class. Before I plunge into details, I'm not so sure she likes me. She might think I'm cute (damn my shortness!), but not really likeable (I read Twilight, according to her recommendation, got a few laughs out of reading it[I flipped to a random page in the book, only to find out that it was titled "The Game". Lulz ensued from me and a lot of chicks], said something absent-mindedly in class and got steamed for it by her), or maybe just a plain idiot. She hasn't really given me the GAS (gb/2 Dating tips if you don't know), except behind my back. I should ask her out, but I sense a 70% rejection coming on. (she's still not a confirmed /b/tard or anything - she just knows the game and possibly over 9000)

What do I do? More details if not clarified enough, I have to do my homework and I'm not really focusing here.
__________________

[Joe]

My friends and I have coined a phrase to one of the most obvious signs- the Gay-###-Smile, or GAS. This is the big goofy smile you get when you like someone- If you think about them, if you talk about them, or when you see them, you will have a big grin. Do they have a big smile on their face when they talk to you? Whenever you join into a group conversation and she is there, does she have a big smile all of a sudden? Then my friends, she has GAS, and she likes you.
Haha, GAS.

I think I've done this... not sure, gotta check some day.

[Scornic]

I don't usually see the GAS. Maybe it's a Highschool thing?

[Commander747]

heh.I'm only 13 but i got 3 girls that like me.I had a gf but she left me for a complete perv,anyway i don't care.The thing is why the hell do girls like me?!! im a nerd,im a slacker etc.And i never saw that GAS thing on my gf nor me.

[Mykester]

Oh ####, I may have seen the GAS when talking to the girl I like. FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUU sh's on vacation right now.

[ssgtGrimreaper]

I don't usually see the GAS. Maybe it's a Highschool thing?Yeah, I think so. Girls that can mask their emotions and intent better usually don't show the GAS as far as I've seen. For middle school and maybe some high schoolers, it works though.

[Vorobev]

I'm currently in a pretty frustrating situation related to dating:

Q: I really like this girl, and i'm pretty sure that she likes me as well. However, we don't know each other AT ALL. And since the only place where i see her is the school bus and our music classes, its kinda hard to get a conversation started.
So my question is: Should i just pull myself together and ask her out right away, or should i try to get to know her a bit better first?

[Alice Cooper]

EDIT: Meh, found my own solution.

[KiDULTHOOD]

I like this girl in my class she's hot but she sits at the other side of the room and we have never talked. We have made eye contact a lot which is cool but there's this other chick, sits infront of me and she always talks to me. It's so ####ing annoying and its obvious that she sooo wants my nuts in her mouth and wants to date lol but shes butt ugly and not very interesting to talk too. Shes always trying to talk to me but I wan't to talk to that other girl but I have no idea how to start up a topic, introduce self etc. We have a seating plan, so.. ideas???????

[Scornic]

Talk to her after class.

[Guybrush Threepwood]

I like this girl in my class she's hot but she sits at the other side of the room and we have never talked. We have made eye contact a lot which is cool but there's this other chick, sits infront of me and she always talks to me. It's so ####ing annoying and its obvious that she sooo wants my nuts in her mouth and wants to date lol but shes butt ugly and not very interesting to talk too. Shes always trying to talk to me but I wan't to talk to that other girl but I have no idea how to start up a topic, introduce self etc. We have a seating plan, so.. ideas???????
BWAHAHAHAHA!
Dude.
Duuude.
Maybe if you were a bit more respectful, girls might like you better.
Though I'm completely retarded when it comes to teenage behavioral patterns. Though I technically am one.

[Danielle]

BWAHAHAHAHA!
Dude.
Duuude.
Maybe if you were a bit more respectful, girls might like you better.
Though I'm completely retarded when it comes to teenage behavioral patterns. Though I technically am one.
I'm pretty positive you've got that one right.

He needs to grow up and learn how to treat girls.

[KiDULTHOOD]

Sorry I was pretty damn drunk at the time LOL but what I really mean is that I like this girl, I want to talk to her and get to know her but I don't know how to approach her. She sits at the other side and we have a seating plan. I don't know how to start a convo or whatever and this girl who sits by me ALWAYS talks to me, even during quizzes. I don't find her interesting, shes not my type, etc. How can I make her stop talking 24/7 (this may be hard) and distracting me and how do I get to talk to that girl I like. I think just apporaching her when alone is weird because we don't even know each other, athough we have made quite abit of quick eye contact

[Aizengon]

Try not to drink to much though at the age of teen,Im sure most girls like to party when i was a teenager people were more respectful from my perspectives that is.