The Great Hamburger War II

[Grunteh]

Way waay back in 2006, I made a thread, (I think) called The Great Hamburger War.

It was a forum-based war game, where God and the Devil created a hambuger so great, everone wanted it, so they faught over it. There are no teams, no ranks, just you and your imagination. There are unlimeted respawns if you want back in. Have super powers, see what I care. One rule: You can not permanently have the hamburger. Two, The burger is poisoness, but no one will know, acctually, dont read this sentence.

So, I'll start, and you try to pry the hamburger from me.

*Grunteh is walking down teh street, and finds a hamburger, with a note saying*
"Keep this hamburger, don't eat, save it for sometime."


Try to get it from meh!

[theryman]

*Takes*

Win.

[MushroomMammoth]

*startle Grunteh*
*Grunteh drops burger*
*snatch burger*
*run*

[Joest]

*Melts MM with heat vision*
*Takes burger*
*Runs*

[theryman]

*Takes*

Win.

[.Valhalla.]

*Fork lift it away from you*
*Puts foot on gas for high speed 15MPH get away*

[Mr. Anderson]

*stabs all*
*takes Burger*
*runs*

[Mykester]

*Kicks*
*Runs away with burger*
*Eats*
*Gets poisoned*
*Dies*

[Sub0]

*Cuts open stomach
*Takes out burger
*Lives under the sea in a impenetrable fortress with infinite food/air/water/entertainment.

[.Valhalla.]

*trains a spy fish*
*spy fish brings it back to me*

[Mr. Anderson]

*Shoots with RPG*
*Takes burger*
*takes blood sample from Mykester*
*Analyzes*
*Waits for test results*
*Accidentally uses burger as toilet paper in 48-hour wait*

[theryman]

*Takes*

Win.

[Adam]

*Picks up Mr. A*
*Throws at wall*
*Grabs burger*
*Throws burger on ground and says "EWWW!!!"*

[Sub0]

*Takes
*Activates god mode

[Mr. Anderson]

*steals*
*hides*
Oh..my..God...
*alien pops out of Mykester's stomach*
HOLY ####!

[Adam]

*Blasts with special Q-Tip mode*


Win.

[Lumeh]

*Stabs suspense in the eye with a soldering iron, and burns away his octive nerves, then breaks his clavicle in two places, then takes a crowbar and tears out the segmented bone and jabs it through his trachea, where his Coroted Artery sprays blood down his windpipe where he drowns in his own people juice*

*Takes burger*

[Sub0]

*Takes
*Hides in a secret location and creates a fake burger
*Taunts everyone with fake burger
*Everyone thinks fake burger is real

[.Valhalla.]

Alien? Or pregnancy?

*grapple hooks da burger*
*rides away on a cat*
*bites fake burger*
Awwww! plastic!

[Mr. Anderson]

*cat dies*
*tackles*
*takes*

[theryman]

*Takes*

Win.

[gufu1992]

*Burns burger*
*Finds a new burger*
*wins*
win!

[Syrito]

*Kicks theryman in the leg"
*Gets killed by therymans wrath*

[Mykester]

*sits down*
*thinks*
*resurects old burger*
*eats*
*vomits*
*rape*

[Syrito]

*Runs out of respawn tube*
*Looks into Equipment Terminal*
Aww, Vanu guns suck.
*Gets a mosquito*
*Guns down Mykester*
*Eats vomit*
*Finds burger*
*Grabs*
*Runs*
*Flys back to VS Sanctuary*

[Wolfman]

*Launches massive bombing raid on sanctuary*
*Sends crew to ruins to recover burger, bring it back to my base*
*Hides burger in an undisclosed location somewhere deep underground*
*Readies anti-aircraft guns, ballistic missiles, and patrols around the base perimeter, activates landmine defenses in surrounding desert, puts base on full alert*

[Syrito]

*Fires himself into the building on a trebuchet*
*Flies through the roof*
*Stares at Wolfman*
"I challenge you... TO A DANCE OFF!"
*Backflip*
*Worm*
*Spins on head*
*Win*
"You just got served!"
*Take burger*
*Slide past defences on forehead*

[Wolfman]

lol that was a decoy... and it's rigged with a remote-detonated explosive charge. My troops could have easily killed you, but I ordered them to stand down, because I find it more amusing this way.

*pushes the "DETONATE" button*

[Robotdeath]

*god mode on*
*steals hamburger and shoves up ass*

[Sub0]

*Satan mode one
*Steals hamburger and sticks it on horns
*Fire!!!

[Joest]

*Takes out a liquid-nitrogen bomb*
*Explodes*
*Freezes Sub Zero*
*Takes burger and runs*

[Robotdeath]

*improbability drive on*
*Joest's head and hamburger trade places*
*swipes hamburger*
*Joest is now headless*

[pong676]

*is vegetarian*
*insults all you prehistoric carnivores, fighting over the flesh of an animal that was inhumanely tortured and killed! Tortured and killed, do you here me?! Now, if you don't mind, I'm off to rescue some endangered tree snails in South Africa...*

[Infinite shadow]

*shoots burger out of canon*

[Wolfman]

I still have the real burger... You guys have all been fighting over another decoy.

[Syrito]

*is vegetarian*
*insults all you prehistoric carnivores, fighting over the flesh of an animal that was inhumanely tortured and killed! Tortured and killed, do you here me?! Now, if you don't mind, I'm off to rescue some endangered tree snails in South Africa...**Tortures, kills, and eats you*
*Takes the burger from wolfman*
*Eats wolfman*

[Infinite shadow]

I need more burgers!
must steal!

[pong676]

*Tortures, kills, and eats you*
*Takes the burger from wolfman*
*Eats wolfman*

Yay! I get to be eaten by Syrito.

[Joest]

*Eats everyone*
*Craps them out into a vat of acid*
*Takes the burger*
*Puts it up on eBay*

[Infinite shadow]

*throws hamburger at joest*

[theryman]

*Takes*

Win.

[Wolfman]

*Tortures, kills, and eats you*
*Takes the burger from wolfman*
*Eats wolfman*

That wasn't me, that was my body double. And that wasn't the real burger either.

[Grunteh]

*Takes*

Winzor'd x2.

[Infinite shadow]

*wolfman sneaks up*
*grabs head and puts on grill*

[Grunteh]

I still have the hamburger.
*hides in a safe*

[Spartan 1337]

*throws plasma gernade on safe*
*takes*
*gets trained monkeys as bodyguards*

[.Valhalla.]

*baits monkeys with banana*
*grappling hooks burger*
*Lives up in a monks tower and locks the door below*

[Wolfman]

You can keep killing my body doubles and stealing my decoy hamburgers, but you'll never find where I am or where I've hidden the real burger.

[Grunteh]

*finds real burger*
*takes*
*walks away*

[Joest]

*Pisses on Grunteh off of a building*
*Drops brick on Grunteh*
*Takes the real burger*
*Puts it up on eBay*

[Syrito]

*Becomes a total ass by saying that people do effects straight to me while I say they effected something else*
*Eats wolfman for the hell of it, and all of the body doubles*
*Wins*

[anarchy11]

*takes Syrito's candy*
Takin candy from a babeh!
*takes burger*
haha!

[Scirocco Kinu]

Blasts Anarchy with a vulcan cannon. "Woo!" Grabs burger and hides in super secret fortress of awesomeness. "My burger!!"

[Grunteh]

*walks in super secret fortress of Gayness and steals burger*

[brothad]

*steals burger, puts it in an invincible cage, and no one can possibly get in, then lets off a bomb so big no one can possibly live after it.*

[Scirocco Kinu]

Reanimates and sees cage did get blown up and steals burger.

[Syrito]

*Mounts Vulcan Chain gun and rocket launcher on unicycle.*
*Wheels over a hill*
*Guns down Scirocco Kinu*
*Blows up corpse*
*Fires two missles at brothad*
*Rocket jumps*
*Leaps off of unicycle*
*Draws sword*
*Chops brothad in half*
*Lands on unicycle while in the air*
*Deploys parachute*
*Lands*
*Takes burger*

[MushroomMammoth]

*puts out foot*
*Syrito trips*
*takes Hamburger*

[Syrito]

*Skins ankle*
*Cries*
*Puts on a bandaid*
*Gets gunned to pieces by some random tank*
*Gets up*
*Fires missle at tank*
*Pistol whips MushroomMammoth*
*Rapes*
*Takes burger*

[WaterZoma]

*takes burger*
Screw this! I wanted a burrito.
*throws hamburger in trash*

[Syrito]

*Dives down garbage shoot*
*Grabs burger*
*Shoots wall with grapple*
*Pauses above incinerator*
*Begins to eat burger when...

[MushroomMammoth]

*goes with DZ*

Burritos FTW!

[Grunteh]

*Finds where the burger is now*
*Takes*
*Walks away slowly with no suspicion twards me*

[Joest]

*Eats Burger*
*Shoves grenade up ass and jumps off The Empire State Building*

[Espo Mk. II]

*drops da bomb*

[caniverous toilet]

*Gets Radiation/Indestructable powers*
*Steals the burger when every one else is dead*

WIN!

[SalsatheGeek]

Not quite yet...

*throws antimatter bomb*
*watches caniverous toilet turn into pure energy*
*switches the burger onto a waiter's plate*

[caniverous toilet]

*Evolves into Herbivorous Urinal*
*Kicks All Surviving Ass*
*Does something that get's the burger*

[joshboy3]

*get a highly convinient portable black hole*
*tie myself with ropes to the edges*
*waits for caniverous toilet to come towards me*
*steal burger*
*end up dead due to the fact that one of the ropes snapped*
*eat burger*
i win

[K1CkA55]

*Takes burger*
*Gives it a big lick so everyone can see*
Do you still wan't it?

[Infinite shadow]

*puts 3 bottles of hot sauce in hamburger*
*shoves down carniverous toilet's mouth*

[caniverous toilet]

Pipes actually

*Pukes up*
*Spawns the Hamburger in my hands*

[Grunteh]

*Grabs a .50 Desert Eagle*
*Buys a handgun scope*
*Goes to the Texas Book Depository*
*Shoots Toilet as he is driving in his Ford Convertible*
*Runs down to the lunch room*
*Gets spotted by a cop*
*Cop clears meh*
*Goes down to ground level*
*Steals Burger*

[caniverous toilet]

*Shoots Grunt*
*Grunteh Dies*
*Steals*

[Grunteh]

*Takes a dump in toilet*
*Takes burger*

[kirbster40]

*commits suicicide by blowing up a nuclular bomb*

[caniverous toilet]

*Comes in with Halo 2 Multi-Player voiceover.*
*Suicide*

EDIT: Oh, and takes burger from Grunt with Energy Sword. Heheheh! Two Halo 2 references in one!

[Grunteh]

*Takes*