Anorexia.

[Alphaniner]

No, not me. A very good friend of mine at school. There are some of those really super-skinny girls at my school, so my friend decided she was fat. (she's a little bit overweight, but nothing ridiculous.)

I sit with her at lunch most days, and she only has a cup of water, or some crackers at most. I know she is starving herself, and I want to help. I have tried talking to her, but as expected, she becomes defensive.

I also know you're not supposed to try and be a miracle worker and solve this kind of thing by yourself, so I talked to the school guidance councelor about it.

Now I'm trying to get my friend to talk to a professional about this, but she refuses to admit she has a problem. She doesn't want any help, and the guidance councelor says if she doesn't come in willingly tommorow, they're going to confront her and bring her in whether she wants it or not. I'm looking for a way to get her to talk to someone without her absolutely despising me afterwards. She is a very good friend of mine, and I very concerned about her. Any ideas?

[WaterZoma]

Tell her she isn't fat that it is all in her head.

[Alphaniner]

That doesn't work. She has already convinced herself that she is fat, and nothing I, or anybody else, says has any effect.

[What do you want from me?]

Show her pictures of fat people. Like 300+ pound fat people.

[Shadow Crest]

That won't help at all...

I found this from a google search that I feel could help (Yes, it's a C+P, but I don't care...):

1. Set a time to talk. Set aside a time to privately talk about your concerns with your friend. Be open and honest. Make sure you talk in a place away from distractions.

2. Tell your friend about your concerns. Tell your friend about specific times when you were worried about her eating or exercise behaviors. Explain that you think these things may show a problem that needs professional help.

3. Ask your friend talk about these concerns. She could talk to a counselor or doctor who knows about eating issues. If you feel comfortable, offer to help your friend make an appointment or go with her to her appointment.

4. Avoid conflicts or a battle of the wills with your friend. If your friend doesn’t admit to a problem, repeat your feelings and the reasons for them. Be a supportive listener.

5. Don’t place shame, blame, or guilt on your friend. Do not use accusatory “you” statements like, “You just need to eat.” Or, “You are acting irresponsibly.” Instead, use “I” statements like, “I’m concerned about you because you refuse to eat breakfast or lunch.” Or, “It makes me afraid to hear you vomiting.”

6. Avoid giving simple solutions. Don’t say, "If you'd just stop, then everything would be fine!"

7. Express your continued support. Remind your friend that you care and want her to be healthy and happy.

[uwillbanme]

That won't help at all...

I found this from a google search that I feel could help (Yes, it's a C+P, but I don't care...):

1. Set a time to talk. Set aside a time to privately talk about your concerns with your friend. Be open and honest. Make sure you talk in a place away from distractions.

2. Tell your friend about your concerns. Tell your friend about specific times when you were worried about her eating or exercise behaviors. Explain that you think these things may show a problem that needs professional help.

3. Ask your friend talk about these concerns. She could talk to a counselor or doctor who knows about eating issues. If you feel comfortable, offer to help your friend make an appointment or go with her to her appointment.

4. Avoid conflicts or a battle of the wills with your friend. If your friend doesn’t admit to a problem, repeat your feelings and the reasons for them. Be a supportive listener.

5. Don’t place shame, blame, or guilt on your friend. Do not use accusatory “you” statements like, “You just need to eat.” Or, “You are acting irresponsibly.” Instead, use “I” statements like, “I’m concerned about you because you refuse to eat breakfast or lunch.” Or, “It makes me afraid to hear you vomiting.”

6. Avoid giving simple solutions. Don’t say, "If you'd just stop, then everything would be fine!"

7. Express your continued support. Remind your friend that you care and want her to be healthy and happy.Way to go google, thats some pretty damn good advice

[Vagrant]

Another thing to note is that if she starves herself, she may actually become more fat. When the body realizes it is not getting the normal nutrients it needs, it switches to survival mode. The body then preserves fat much more tightly than it ever would normally. The body will begin to eat her muscle tissue, and if she does not eat properly, she will become very weak.

Although I doubt this will happen, it's also possible that since her digestive acids in her stomach have nothing to digest, the gases will begin to expand, and may actually bloat her stomach. This was witnessed in the Holocaust, where thousands of the starving Jews were let out of the camps with gigantic bellies because the gases could not escape their bodies.

Losing weight is not about the food, although it plays a part. Eating the proper foods can only take you so far. The body preserves fats like no other substance. The body would much rather expend other sources of energy, such as carbohydrates or protein. In order to actually remove fat, you must exercise a substantial amount -- to the point where you feel you can no longer move, and beyond. By forcing your body beyond it's normal limits, when it is out of energy, the body is forced into actually using up the fat.

Here's a simple explanation of why the body preserves fat over other substances:

Carbohydrates: 4 Calories/gram
Proteins: 4 Calories/gram
Fats: 9 Calories/gram

As you can see, fats contain quite a lot more energy than the other substances. Which is why the body hangs on so dearly to fats. Because fats were rare back when humans were evolving, fats were used by the body primarily as a "backup" energy source, because they contained so much energy in a small package. The backup energy source was meant to be used in critical times, such as an extended hunt, or merely running for your life when you had already used up your source of carbohydrate energy.

Unfortunately, fat is much more easily accessable to humans today, and we do not do the same amount of physical activity that our ancestors once did. Since we can't "de-evolve," our bodies will not evolve to expend fats like other substances.

Just a little background info for you. :P

[Espo Mk. II]

vagrant and shadow are right, use both of their advice, and you should get more of her friends and have them all tell her that youq are all concerned about her.

[DarkReality]

Don't confront her with facts. Facts are wrong and she won't listen to them. She's built an image that she needs to hang on to because it gives her a goal. She won't accept facts because that requires her to accept that she's "fat". Instead, show her that you find her attractive. Nothing overly obvious, of course, but show interest for the way she looks.

Even tell her that her clothes look a bit loose and her curves don't fill them out. But not that obvious, of course.

[Kevim]

Don't confront her with facts. Facts are wrong and she won't listen to them. She's built an image that she needs to hang on to because it gives her a goal. She won't accept facts because that requires her to accept that she's "fat". Instead, show her that you find her attractive. Nothing overly obvious, of course, but show interest for the way she looks.

Even tell her that her clothes look a bit loose and her curves don't fill them out. But not that obvious, of course.
See! This is a man who knows what he is talking about!

I did the same thing with my serial killer cannibal friend! I told her "Gee wizz. You really should stop killing all of those people... I mean one of them might crap their pants when they die. Think of how awful that'd be!"
[/End Sarcasm]

You can't stop a mental problem so severe that she is willing to starve herself and loose all traces of natural instinct to eat the hell out of whatever gets offered....... Just to look a bit prettier. Do you really think saying her shirt is too big is going to stop her? If somebody told me my shirt was too small on me, then I wouldn't say "Wow, you are right. And I am really going to take that into consideration. Now, I'm going to lose 20 pouinds!" I'd say "**** you" or just not wear the shirt.

[Vagrant]

One must incorporate both facts and emotion into the argument. I was merely providing a factual background on fat itself.

The main problem with talking to these girls is that they get trapped in a state where they will listen to neither rhyme nor reason. I've seen it happen.

[Tanktunker]

It's not hard, really, just casually remark that you read in a magazine that it was proved that Bulimia works faster than Anorexia.
Then you just need to deal with the Bulimia, and you're done!
Also, take a leaf, or rather a tip, from Maddox's book and keep giving her clothes that are 1 size smaller than her's, and remark that if it's too small, you can always exchange it for a large size.
Remember to leave off the "er", just say large.

[zapper229]

im so srry wht can i do 2 help

p.s. wht skool do u go 2?