Headlines v. 2.0

[Liokae]

Headlines Word Game Found to Make Appearence on Social Board

When the matter was investigated futher, witnesses noted that all posts must be in the form of at least a headline, and possibly supporting text, and must tie to the headline before it. One concerned citizin noted "MOO!"

((A word game from awhile back for everyone to enjoy. Essentially, each post has to contain a headline and a small amount of writing, and has to relate to the previous headline.))

[Honeycomb]

Davor is dead

Like that, right?

[Screech]

Right Winged Political Party Jumped off a Cliff

People watched in awe today as over 300 members of fascist political party jumped off a cliff in Alabama. Spokesperson of the party, Martha McGee, said "They were trying to prove a point that the spirits of past fascist leaders suport them and will cause the members of the party to fly to saftey. Unfortunatly, they were wrong." (More on F8)

[ehntoo]

Bird Flu Pandemic A Fake?

One poor resident was squashed by a flying extremist yesterday. A witness remarked "Who cares about the birds getting sick!? What are we going to do about these falling fascists?"

[Posh Jibbons]

Xgenners fail to comprehend!

Liokae esplained the game in the first post. Tie the headline before you to your own headline. Silly heads.

[Honeycomb]

Ehntoo- Child porn watcher?

Ehntoo has been caught recently and jacking off to child pornography. He will be in jail for 100 billion years.

[RobotDL3]

RobotDL3 - Loser?


You heard it here first, RobotDL3 could be a n00b!

[WaterZoma]

Resident Evil a New Reality


From recent events the movie Resident Evil may have been a movie about the future. The recent dead have been spotted rising from their graves and eating the flesh of the living. The military is taking care of the problem as of now, but having trouble taking the dead down as shooting them in the head won't stop them. People suspect RobotDL3 responsible.

[ripht|CoC]

Outer XGenia's Mental Facilities Resemble Zombies, Still Unable To Handle the Headlines Game

There's a reason it was moved to the Elites' Club. >.>

[ehntoo]

n2 commits suicide at last!

"The idiocy did it," reads his suicide note.

[Bodadem]

Bodadem commits suicide at last!

"I can't live without my squishy-bear," reads his suicide note.

[Honeycomb]

Skye is a Hermaphrodite

Its true.

[Doomed Rasher]

Denacioust is gay destruction

According to a random witness at IP address ***,*,*,**, He witnessed Decacioust being a gay destructor.
http://img55.imageshack.us/img55/1701/untitled2rm.png

[denacioust]

Women of the world worried

As second gay phrase appears in userbar in denaciousts phrase..

[Woolfenstien]

No one actually understands, say the women of the world!!

You must have some rellavence, no matter how loose, to the headline above you!

[Doomed Rasher]

Headlines thread endangered!

As predicted, the headlines thread has recently been on the edge of being moved to Spammer Land. N00bs and newbs continuously spam this thread and therefore endangering the thread's status.

[RobotDL3]

RobotDL3 saves headlines thread!


You heard it here first, RobotDL3 is saving this thread by posting a post with some relevance to the above post. Headlines may no longer be in a danger!

[Doomed Rasher]

Efforts futile!

Unfortunately the last try at this thread was a disaster and the thread quickly became free XCash. Relevance and true data required! DR says: "I pity the foo' who spams here!"

Spammers have targeted this thread and is planning on striking this thread and force the mods to move the thread to Spammer Land. But with any luck a ban hammer would strike them soon.

[Woolfenstien]

Disasters a way of life?

So many are happening, it's become a sort of breakfast to some people.

[RobotDL3]

Woolfenstein retarded?

After his last post that has not flollowed the rules clearly set out, we suspect he has a handicapping mental disability. More on this story as it develops.

[Doomed Rasher]

Death unfeared?

Scientists are investigating the matter currently, about the near-death trances and where people go after expiration. However Epicirus says:

"Death is of no concern to us, for that when we exist death is not present, and when death is present we no longer exist."

[RobotDL3]

This just in! Doomed Rasher being...boring?


You heard it here folks, Doomed Rasher just put 42 people to sleep with his boring newsflash about death and whatnot.

[Doomed Rasher]

Uranium refinery destroyed!

In China, a uranium refinery just experienced a serioud meltdown due to pie crusts and a miscalculated equation.

Here's the equation:

1+1=3

[Woolfenstien]

1+1 does equal 3.

If you add another 1 in, that is.

[Doomed Rasher]

Scientists argue as the field of mathematics break down!

Woolfenstien has conquered what we thought to be universally correct. He has initiated the fourth mathematical breakdown! Scientists argue whether 1+1 equals 2 or 3, a philosophical debate arose.

[RobotDL3]

Screw it, this thread's dead.

[Woolfenstien]

We cannot screw anything.

Because some silly monkey forgot the screwdriver!

[Doomed Rasher]

Headlines thread dying?

RobotDL3 claims that the headlines thread located in the Irrelevance section of XGenstudios Forums is dead. Not true. It's just bits of data, it had never been alive.

[Salty]

Genitailia deformation possobilllitys up 50%

When you pregnant dont smoke!

[Doomed Rasher]

Pseudoneocontraantidisestablishmentarianistically, the government decided to ban long words.

Words with more than 20 characters are banned from the U.S. due to the fact most middle school and high school student were having seizures after seeing long words.

[Salty]

THREADS turning into spamm partys


after recent studies 33% of thread in relevance are spam.

[Lazlozania]

Eminem and Insane Clown Posse At It Again!

Eminem and Insane Clown Posse, better known as ICP, are fighting again. Two members of Eminems band, D12, were found dead today in a House of Mirrors. More on page G5.

[Woolfenstien]

Mirrors deemed immoral!

Do I really look that sexy?

In other news...

I have a big pen0r

[Tanktunker]

Pen0r claimed to be above average size!

People were shocked and what not.
Also, people got shocked by shocking devices and shocking peices of information.

In other news People are shocked!

[Lazlozania]

Burning Desire Discovered My Mother!

I recently found a peice of paper with the word desire on it, and burned it. My mom found it and yelled at me.

[Salty]

britly spears slams her baby 27 time's on its head

yes you heard right an she gave birth to twins also

[Woolfenstien]

Shocking shocks are shockingly shocking the shocked nation of shocked people who are very shocked at this shocking incident!

Shocking!

[.twotoedsleuth.]

People Shocked
For the new Baby Tazer line that came out today for uncontrollable toddlers!

[Woolfenstien]

--COMMERCIAL BREAK--

Got a little #### that's always ####ing you about?

Give me my... Baby Tazer, baby tazer!
Give the #### a zap and they'll leave you alone.

Baby Tazer, baby tazer!
All I do is zap and they are no more.

A swish and a click and a zap and a crack,
Eternal peace is mine for the keeping,
Thanks to my...
Baby Tazer, baby tazer!

[˙·٠•●Motherloader●•٠·˙]

Woolfy somkes major crack

But really, tell us something we don't know?

[Woolfenstien]

Facts about Motherloader0

He gives best teh secks.

[˙·٠•●Motherloader●•٠·˙]

Although he may have a narcotics problem, woolfy tells the truth!

*Glomps*

[Woolfenstien]

*Glomps j00 back*

I used my wing wang!

My Wang has serious growth potential!

[game-bot]

Nintendo Wii changes, once agian
Just when gamers thought Nintendo went crazy by changing the Revoulution to Wii, It's apparent they're on crack when they announced the new and official name, ####tyMcCrapBox2000. Yes, ####tyMcCrapBox2000.

[˙·٠•●Motherloader●•٠·˙]

Motherloader0 slaps gamebot...

For not staying on the wonderfully juvinile glomptastic headline spree. More on D8.

[game-bot]

Gamebot punches motherloader0

Because it's better than slapping

[Woolfenstien]

Efilnikufesin

It started back in high school
So cool, king of the scene
You found that making people laugh
Was more than just a dream
The public took right to you
Like flies to a pile of ####
So funny and smart, so talented
But success just couldn’t fit

Wasting your life no future bright
Dancing on your grave
Living like a slave, someone should’ve said...

N.f.l., efilnikufesin n.f.l.
N.f.l., efilnikufesin n.f.l.

Wake up dead in a plywood bed
Six feet from the rest of your life
And when you couldn’t see your own dependency

N.f.l., nice ####in’ life

The whole world is your playground
Yet you can’t find your niche
Your only friends, it helps you through
Helps you dig your daily ditch
The bottom line can’t touch you
Cause you’re above the rest
But your little friend’s the enemy
And the bottom line is death

You lived a life of excess
Goddamn shame it’s such a waste
Just one too many cookies
From the batch no one should taste
Yet his memory stills stays with us
Cause watching him was fun
Too bad things weren’t different
Who knows what he’d have done

[˙·٠•●Motherloader●•٠·˙]

Anthrax declared a stupid name for a band in this year of our good lord...

Especially when your album is called "spread the disease".

[Honeycomb]

Rammestein= No longer a band.

Rammestein has quit. They said that they just got bored of playing music.

[Woolfenstien]

I'm in a State of Euphoria!

WEEEEEEEEEEEE!

[game-bot]

E.T. life in our Solar System

A planet has been found today, with it's surface covering 75%+ water, and a strong atmosphere. It has many differnt kiind of ET life on it, the dominant being organisms with:
1 head, 2 arms, 2 hands (5 fingers on each), 2 legs, 2 feet (5 toes on each),and 1 body.

[˙·٠•●Motherloader●•٠·˙]

Rammestein= No longer a band.

Rammestein has quit. They said that they just got bored of playing music.

Well that sucks!

They were pretty good.

[Tanktunker]

Or were they?...

A set of inquisitivly inquisitions on whether Rammestein were "pretty good" or "Summa good ####".

Also in the news NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisiton!

The Inquisition in which the main weapon was suprise, suprise and fer, no wait, that's two weapons, let's start over.

...

Also in the news NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisiton!

The Inquisition in which the two main weapons were suprise and fear, suprise, fear and a fanatical dedication to the church.

No wait, I scrwed up again, start over.

[Drifterxkringo]

Tanktunker bilwildered!

Due to the above thread, Tanktunker has been extremely confused and was sent to the hospital in critical condition.

[Arca]

Biwildered bilwidering!
After the above post at least 30 people quickly check what biwildered means!

[˙·٠•●Motherloader●•٠·˙]

Bring out the soft pillow...

Bring out the comfy chair!

[c00lryguy]

c00lryguy is a Miracle Worker

Today, Ryan Lewis revives dead topic after FIVE months of correctly being diagnosed dead. When asked about his achievements he had this to say:
"GET OUT OF MY BATHROOM, I'M TRYING TO TAKE A SHOWER!"
Ryan also blames Motherloader for killing the thread and Motherloader has since been found guilty by the court of law.

[denacioust]

After a long absence Denacioust shows up in X-Gen Drunk and naked.

He appeared startled and sexy.

[c00lryguy]

Newsflash: Ryan also naked and soon to be drunk

Back you to in studio the, Kent.

[denacioust]

Alcohol Brain impairs NEWSFLASH: ability

Mixed people drunk up act.

[XGEN-CRaZeD]

Simon Say's gives small children and the elderly seizures after level 3!

Who hasn't?

[c00lryguy]

Mountain Dew Not Only Lowers Sperm Count But Rapes You Too

Mountain Dew has since gotten a new image. Same Dew, New View.

[Karl]

Naborr Found Guilty Of Not Having Anything To Say!

Naborr was quoted, saying: "..."

[denacioust]

Coolryguy discovered to lower sperm count


You know what I mean...HIGH FIVE!...HeY YOU! Get outta my office.

[Mr. Anderson]

Mr. Anderson Pissed off!
When asked about this rumor, Anderson had this to say: "Get the #### outta my house. I'll get my hockey stick."

[c00lryguy]

The Mountain Dew Raper Found To Be Dom

When questioned, Dom said, and I quote "Giggity Giggity Gig-gi-ty"

[Joest]

Cause of Mountain Dew Rapings

Found to be Dom, it was dicovered that he had 79 Mountain Dews before the rapings.

[Karl]

C00lryguy Slapped!

Naborr slapped C00lryguy today, saying "Yo mah ##### now."

[denacioust]

Naborr dead


Police are treating the murder as suspicious and hilarious

[Karl]

Naborr Outraged After Death!

Naborr was quoted as saying, "Well if this ain't this a crock full of horse ####."

[denacioust]

Arnold Schwarzenegger shoots new computer


In a fit of rage after an attempt to install Windows Vista Arnold Schwarzenegger shot his new computer. He is quoted to have said, "Hasta La Windows, Vista"

[Joest]

Arnold Found dead this morning

He was found dead after he was assasinated by Bill Gates.

[Karl]

Zombie Naborr Dies of Laughter

Awesome Ahnold quote FTW

[c00lryguy]

It's On

That's right people, hide the small children...because it's on.
It's AWWON

[Karl]

Naborr hits off Switch

Nope, it's off now. IT'S AWWF.

[Joest]

Small Children Start Riot

Hundreds of children start riot after Ryan said "It's AWWON".

[c00lryguy]

Xgenstudios Sheds Some Light

With the recently revived Headlines thread, xgen is back in action and ready to make a name for itself...or herself...

[Karl]

Naborr Hits On Sexy XGen

Giggity.

[Joest]

XGen Got Raped

This just in, XGen Studios just got ass raped by an unknown person.

[denacioust]

Xgenstudios receives Sex Change

However its current and previous gender is still unknown.

[Karl]

Naborr Receives Multiple Sex Changes

Doctor counts at 52.

[c00lryguy]

Xgen Raper Found to be...

Dom again! After being released from Rapehab, That's rehab for rapers, Dom seems to be back on the bus again and a-lookin' for Mara

[Tanktunker]

Holy Crap!

I just took a dump and it looks like Jesus!

[Karl]

#### Jesus Acknowledged By Pope!

"It's a miracle!", Pope says.

[Tanktunker]

#### Jesus not acknowledged by G-d!

"####ing Pope, who does he think he is? Proclaiming miracles? The ####ing Pope?", G-d says.

[c00lryguy]

Backwards Speak = Sexy Speak

.sey syas retroper ####
;)

[Tanktunker]

!yxeS m'I

!yxes m'I esuaceb ,gnixes em eviG

[Joest]

263 Penis' Found In Dom's House

"I don't know what happened, I hid them so well...", Dom said.

[Karl]

Pope and God Battle!

Started over a simple quarrel over ####-Jesus, the Pope declared war of God!

[WaterZoma]

Xgen killer roams Xgen looking for victims

The stream of murders have one thing in common. They were raped before being stabbed 82 times.

[c00lryguy]

My Penis is Missing!

This reporter, says "Ouch".


And "I want my mommy"

[Karl]

Pope Smited!

[Joest]

The Pope Is Now A Pile Of Ash

A holy pile of ash.

[denacioust]

The pope's DARK side discovered.

http://img125.imageshack.us/img125/2489/sidiouspopeym3.jpg

DARTH RATZINGER

[WaterZoma]

DarkZoma on the run after being last seen with pope

His last words were, "Move your body!"

[Karl]

DarkZoma Smited!

He was quoted, saying, "Ooh, lighting is tingly..."

[c00lryguy]

Naborr Pronounced Penis Fairy

Leave a quarter under your pillow, kids, and you know what you'll find...


IT'S A PENIS!

[Karl]

Naborr Tells of Record Shattering Penis Sales!

All of them, coincidentally, to c00lryguy.

[Joest]

Nabbor Steals Penis'

As the penis fairy, he get it penis' from Michel Jackon and Dom, who supply them to Nabbor for only $2 each.

[WaterZoma]

People who write headlines in danger?

Constant reports of people who write headlines are reported dead. The only thing they had in common were...

[Karl]

Naborr apparently selling Penii at a Loss

Buy for $2, sell for a quarter?

WTF?

[c00lryguy]

If This Thread is Dead When c00lryguy Comes back, He Will Hunt Down Your Children And Feed Them To The Poor...Then Eat The Poor!

Nuff' said.

[Joest]

Naborr Files For Bankruptcy

He lost over 200 million Dollars.

[c00lryguy]

Naborr Files For Bankruptcy

He lost over 200 million Dollars - worth of penises.

At a quarter each, Nuff said.

[Mr. Anderson]

DarkZoma Found Butt-Raped and Unconcious

DarkZoma was found in a slutty motel room today, with an empty bottle of Vikidin next to him and spray painting on the wall that read "Look Who's movin' now, #####!"

In other news, c00lrguy has hired a top notch lawyer to handle his bankruptcy.

[Karl]

Mr. Anderson sued for Libel!

I'm bankrupt, not c00lry.

[Mr. Anderson]

Mr. Anderson Claims he was drunk

At the time of the mix-up incident, Mr. Anderson claims he was drunk. It is not clear where he got the beer.

[Karl]

Mr. Anderson arrested for Public Drunkenness! And Pubic Drunkenness! Don't even ask how that happened!

All Mr. Anderson's funds were appropriated to Naborr. Now he's the bankrupt loser. Booyah.

[Mr. Anderson]

Naborr gets $60 in Cash and Change and one EB Games Gift Card

"I still had $15 on that!" was Mr. Anderson's statement.

[Karl]

Naborr Receives More Cash Than Ever In His Life!

"It makes me all fuzzy inside!" he said.

[Joest]

Naborr in Debt Yet Again

It appears that Naborr spent all of his money at Hooters.

[Mr. Anderson]

Fuzziness in Naborr Found to be Mr. Wuggles the Teddy Bear

Emergency surgery has been scheduled with the doctor being Dr. Gregory House. Little Susie says she is "very worried about her bear".

[Karl]

Naborr's Dead Body Discarded After Quick Recovery Of Mr. Wuggles

Dr. House was reported as saying, "Meh."

[Mr. Anderson]

Report out of New Jersey: House Fans Riot

While waiting for the new episode of House, fans became so eager they went to the real hospital it is filmed at and rioted.

[Guybrush Threepwood]

House has just been inducted into the TV Hall of Fame
CSI is still better, though.

[Robotdeath]

CSI has discovered who killed the actors of House.

Turns out it was Mr. Anderson. When questioned he replied,"I smell like cheese". Further investigation on the motives of this cheese filled emotional rampage are underway.

[Karl]

Naborr Realizes All Headlines Feature Himself!

Not once have I included one that doesn't at least partially feature me. Then again, why would I?

[Joest]

Naborr Center Of The Universe

Yup.

[c00lryguy]

Ryan Bumps Into Thread

He has since been found to have said, "Ouch...like seriously, ouch."
More information lat0r.

[Joest]

Ryan is Back!

According to the post above me.

[c00lryguy]

Ryan is Black!

According to the census.

[ssgtGrimreaper]

Jimi Hendrix most often associates with guns, swords, and Flying Vs

According to c00lry's sig.

[Karl]

Naborr Schmexiest Person?

According to a recent study, yes. The study's only participant, Naborr, had this to say: "I think he deserves the title. I mean, come on. Was there any doubt in your mind?

[c00lryguy]

Flying V's

This reporter states, "WTF?"

[Joest]

George W. Bush is Black!

Seconds later, he was shot by 98 black men and women.

[Drifterxkringo]

President Dead!

Read above headline for more information.

[Karl]

Naborr Appointed new Vice President

President Assassinated, Naborr Becomes President!

"I don't see a connection," said Naborr.

[c00lryguy]

Cancer...Not So Bad

Cancer, the terminal disease that has taken out all the indians in 1882, is not as bad as we thought, scientists say.

[Mr. Anderson]

c00lryguy Diagnosed with Fatal Cancer

Lead scientists in his case declined comment.

[c00lryguy]

Mr.Anderson Still Obsessed With Mario

When interviewed, Mario had this to say: "Momma mia! Cant-a guy get-ta some-a rest around here? Oooo a-a coin..-a"

[Karl]

C00lryguy sued for racism!

Srsly, not all Italian-Americans speak that way.

[Vagrant]

Naborr sued for incriminating newspaper ads!

'Nuff said.

[Karl]

Vagrant Sued For Being a Dirty, Dirty Shisno!

'Nuff said. Assclown.

[Mr. Anderson]

Mr. Anderson reveals big secret-he is Spiderman

When asked about Peter Parker, he replied "WTF is that?"

[c00lryguy]

Naborr Gets 15 Years

Captian Obvious of the Obvious Police Department arrested Naborr today. When pulled over on Highway 66, Captian Obvious soon found Naborr to have a warrent for 'being too obvious on an online forum'. Naborr pled guilty soon after Captian Obvious stated "No ####, Sherlock."

[Karl]

c00lryguy completely misses the fact that Naborr was joking!

I meant nothing by it, man.

[c00lryguy]

Naborr, After Being Released, Jailed Again!

Captain Obvious nabs Naborr once again after handing him another felony. Captain Obvious had thisto say: "a-duuuuuuuh"

=P Pretty much anything in this thread is not to be taken seriously, bro.

[Karl]

Naborr Glomps c00lryguy!

Shaddup, ya' wiseguy.

[c00lryguy]

Naborr: First Man to Have Babies

Baby got back.

[Mr. Anderson]

Sir Mix-A-Lot sues for copyright

He has become so poor, he has sued c00lryguy for copyright infringement.

[c00lryguy]

Mr. Anderson Poisoned by Apple

Becuase is infact...Snow White.

[Karl]

Naborr Goes Into B3RZ3RK3R Rage!

Rawr.

[ssgtGrimreaper]

Millions Flee Naborr's Rampage

"IT'S GODZILLA!!!" states a hobo.

[Karl]

Not GODZILLA

Due to international copyright laws, I am not GODZILLA.

[ssgtGrimreaper]

Hobo gets cyber-pimp-slapped over the internet.

"O SNAP" states fellow hobo.

[Mr. Anderson]

Fair Hobo Rights Association leaders, or FHRA, Have Been Assasinated
Naborr, Grim, Mr. Anderson, Hobo #1, and Dom are among suspects.

[Syrito]

ssgtGrimreaper thrown in prison for saying the wrong thing.

"He should've said 'Still, we should run like it is godzilla!' in a charming fashion." said a witness. Full story in sunday paper.

[Karl]

Syrito Proven Correct!

Well, it's kinda a given. But he's right, anyway.

[denacioust]

Woman Rights proved to be a joke


Woman laugh and get back to washing the dishes.

[Karl]

Women No Longer Buy Watches

Recent study suggests that they just get the time from the clock on the stove.

[denacioust]

Recent Studies Show Women Are Infact As Intellignt As Men


NAAATTT

[Tanktunker]

Recent Studies Show Women Have Boobs

"Sweet Jesus!" proclaimed a bystander.

[denacioust]

Recent Studies prove that 90% Headlines are unrelated to their article.


"Boobies?" he proclaimed

[Tanktunker]

Recent Studies prove you suck

Yeah, and #### you.
More on page -1.

[denacioust]

Recent Studies prove Tanktunker is infact gay


Incriminating photos on page 3-48

[Tanktunker]

Recent Studies prove the your mom's a #####

incriminating photos on pages 2 to 82, and in every paper for the next month

[Bodadem]

Recent Studies Prove That The Most Common Phrase Used In News Headlines is "Recent Studies"

Elderly citizens everywhere are shocked and appalled.

[Ice Punk]

City of Welland passes law to lower population by electrocuting elderly citizens.

"It's be the best way to reduce the weight on tax payers as well as freeing up the time spent visiting older relatives. And it creates more space and homes for the younger generations and corporations. It's a win-win situation for us all." say mayor. "Next plan of action, putting whales into the canal for attracting tourism."

[YSMM]

Crime gone down 50% due to lack of senior citizens.

"Now that the old people are gone, our neighborhood is a safe place!" says Drug-addict on street.

[Bodadem]

Drug Addicts Take To The Streets

For the first time in years, drug addicts have left the churches, office buildings, and lighthouses, and have taken to the streets. Infants everywhere are shocked and appalled.

[The Prodigal]

Infants rioting in the streets

This global scale civil war between the druggies and the infants has gone on for 5 days. Reports warn Florida of possible blood tsunami.

[YSMM]

Infants throwing diapers, things getting out of hand

"Oh why did we have to kill all the old folks?" Asks the Head Carrot at Safeway.

[Mr. Anderson]

Head Carrot, Jim the Druggie, Martha the Baby Assassinated

No suspects have been found.

[Karl]

Mr. Anderson Arrested For Assassinations

"He totally did it. Totally." confessed Naborr. Anderson was sentenced to having leaches placed on his testiculars, and then forced to make out with Rosie O'Donnel.

[Kevim]

Rosie O' Donnel Found Dead Today

24 Krispy Cream donughts, a liscence plate, 2 dildos, a small child, and a SUV were found inside her stomach.

[Drifterxkringo]

Missing SUV found, unable to be recovered

"Oh Noes!" cries the distraught woman who recently received the news that her SUV was consumed by talk show host Rosie O' Donnel, unable to be recovered.

[Guybrush Threepwood]

Soccer Moms Request for equal rights denied
Not for any real reason, they just suck.

[Ice Punk]

Price of SUV's drop greatly

stockbrokers everywhere are being killed by raging soccer moms.

[Karl]

Ice Punk In Hospital!

Repetitive head-banging resulted in horrible, horrible whiplash.

[denacioust]

Hospitals cure people!

Recent studeis have shown that one in ten hospitals, or 'hostibles' as they are more commonly known, have been proven to be beneficial to human health. Doctors are baffled, but claim responsibility.

[Karl]

Doctors Lie, As Usual

Doctors don't cure people. Because I get to them first.

And kill them.

[Mr. Anderson]

Naborr Arrested on 298,788 Counts of Murder
In other news, Mr. Anderson was found hiding in a spider hole and the corpse was actually a professional stunt man.

[Karl]

NABORR KILL PUNY POLICYMEN

GRAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

caps.

[YSMM]

Recent study says Naborr spelled backwards is a Satanic...


Chicken Cult!

[c00lryguy]

Local Hippy Hangs Self With Hair

After consuming 25 tabs of LSD-25, local hippy hangs him self with his pigtails. Pinned to his shirt, A note: "I dun neva get no poon"

[Joest]

Joest Revives Thread

After 3 weeks, the Almighty Man Joest, revives dead thread.

[h00pla]

h00pla gloats over having the first thread to be transfered to the games forum

The only forum game to be passed over when the rest were sent into the great beyond known as SL. When asked why it was passed over the thread made a muttered response about sheep's blood and the jambs of the door

[Joest]

h00pla's Penis Falls Off

From too much masturbating.

[h00pla]

h00pla's Penis Falls Off

From too much masturbating.

Falling penis kills millions

In a startling turn of events involving quantum impossiblities a penis just fell off of one h00pla killing the entire population on the continent of Asia. No one is sure how such a thing could be housed in a single pair of shorts. When asked h00pla replied "titanium exists for a reason"

[Joest]

h00pla Has Penis Transplant

His penis is now over 15,131,145 miles long.

[zafarat]

Strange Fleshy Object Seen Around the World

An Object of Immense Proportions Reportedly Rises Into Sky and Spits Milk.

[MushroomMammoth]

Man eats herring, explodes.

Terry J. explodes and encounters a grotesque death after consuming a herring served by the notorious waiter, John C. Witnesses shocked.

[ssgtGrimreaper]

John C.'s Avid Sex Life

He claims to have pounced on 15 women's virginity.

[kirbster40]

Mario on a Diet???
People clap and cheer feriously for Nintendo`s star mario as he ferociously eats his mushroom salad while he is drinking Diet Mushroom Juice

[Anonymous]

Thread Revived!
...Or so we though. It appears the second version has not lived up to its predecessor. Will the member give the thread a deserving long life filled with happiness, or leave it to fall down and shrivel away in the archives? Only they can decide!

[Dragon]

Thread is showing SOME hope of staying alive!

It seems that another post has been made, will this launch more? Who knows, maybe this thread will live on the first page forever!

[Donkey2008]

The little thread that could

In a bizarre turn of events, people are flocking to see what the hype about this thread is. What is the cause of this unforseen popularity? One citizen had this to say "I has a Bucket!". And there you have it folks, Perhaps this thread has a hope to one day be as good as its predecessor.

[Sleepy Alchemist]

Wii gets red ring of death

As thousands of gamers get the red ring of death on their 360, a few Wii's got the virus from a rather smexy, 360." I only jacked of on it!" says a 360 fanboy.

[biupSquid]

Xbox 360 owners revealed to secretly learn for a little Wii in their lives

According to recent research conducted by reading the above post, it has been found that 360 lovers are cheating with the Wii. The 360 claims it is shocked, hurt and filing claims on the house.

[Donkey2008]

And more fail to comprehend

Even after reading the first post, visitors fail to comprehend that their article has to relate to the previous head line in soe way.

[Robotdeath]

Some Comprehend

A reported elite few have comprehended the rules of the thread. Those rest have been dick flipped into outer space.

[denacioust]

Pope reports dick flipping at an all time high


The pope has reported that dick flipping is at an all time high however towel snappings are decreasing.

[Donkey2008]

Earth At Risk?

The citizens of earth are in a panic as they wait to hear from the famous scientist, Dr. Skye. Earlier reports told us that the flaming ball ball in the sky was a comet. But evidence from Dr. Skye indicates that it is in fact a cluster of rule breaking midgets. Dr. skye has informed us they were dick flipped up there by a robot... More news to come.

Edit: dam you den. beat me. The dick flipping is alike though. so our posts are related.

[Aquamenti]

Donkeys are wiped out.

Horses. Pigs. Cows. Dogs... Cats. Donkeys. What was that? No, no donkeys.

There are a lot of different four legged animals, but donkeys are gone. Scientist say that these loved #######s are gone forever, even if there are few donkeys left, they're too ill to reproduce. AnimalWorld News went to interview the only known living donkey on Earth live from XGen Studios.

See the interview in here (http://akwamenti.deviantart.com).
__________________________

In other news,
the new product "TeddyBear" is the best-seller of the White Market! Read more >> (http://youfail.org).

[Sleepy Alchemist]

President Aquamenti announces "tedybers r fail"
After going over some research on the new product "TeddyBears", Aquamenti has, indeed prove that Teddybears, are teh fail. Whoever thinks otherwise will meet up here (http://www.stumbleupon.com/error.php?error=Tedybers%20r%20teh%20phail) to announce their arguement.

[Mr. Anderson]

Aquamenti Assassinated
Aquamenti was found in his hotel room this morning, dead. Details have not been released, but Little Susie and Mr. Wuggles are the prime suspects.

[Ignatz]

Teddy bear crime wave?

With arrests and prosecution of Teddy Bears at an all time high, NCFTHTOIO (National Committee For The Humane Treatment Of Inanimate Objects) is screaming "Racisim!".

[Donkey2008]

Judge found

After weeks of searching, Court judge skye boyes has been found. The chief of police had this to say "It was not an easy task, The Brave men of XPD(xgen police department) had to fight off wave after wave of teddy bears." Police are charging NCFTHTOIO CEO Ignatz2000 for kidnapping for being a co-conspirator that had the judge kidnapped. This all comes weeks after the son of CEO was charged by the judge for the murder of a teddy bear. CEO Ignatz threatened the judge at his sons hearing saying "You little PUNK!!! I have dedicated my life to the betterment of life for inanimate objects, And now you sit here and try to destroy my family!! Trust me, I will personally make sure that you pay for this."

[KattFire]

Courtroom Bombed

Earlier today, a courtroom was bombed, as a gang member was going to testify against the head of the gang. The leader was reported to be late to the courtroom, and arrived moments after the explosion. More details to come.

[swatdude]

Leader of Gang turns out to be Narutoboy

Chief of Police stated that Narutoboy may not only be a leader of a gang, he is also member of Al Qaida. He was sent to Gitzmo for questioning.

[Blaze Zero-Three]

Last Updated: Friday, 4 January 2020, 05:11 GMT

SERVER CRASH CAUSES DRASTIC CHANGE IN XGEN STOCK, ENDS UP IN FEDERAL INVESTIGATION

"XGEN" stock changes dramatically due to forum crash - company predicted to fail

NEW YORK STOCK EXCHANGE (CNN) -- Despite warnings from its community, XGen has continued to leave its servers in the balance. Now, more than fifteen years later, they pay the ultimate price.

"We never knew this would happen. I guess our fanbase was right, after all," says Skye, CEO of XGen Games. He says he "regrets neglecting the Commodore 128 that managed the server."

Danny, Public Relations of XGen Games, also shows remorse for the poor management. "I-I..." He was unavailable for further comment.

XGen Games has gone a down a long road since its creation before 2005. They started out as a humble Internet gaming development team, creating games on the now outdated Flash platform. They created highly influential and acclaimed games that forever sculpted the future of the Internet.

On 2007, XGen gathered up an official headquarters. Here, the team became significantly more productive and were able to make the official site much more professional from the previous models. However, during this time, their servers for Motherload and the forums became dangerously unstable, sometimes being down and out for days in a row.

Because of insufficient system administrative purposes, the forum Administrators appointed by the development team of XGen Games were unable to fix the problem. They claimed that a "vital moderation tool" were causing the crashes.

On 2013, XGen began developing for major platforms such as the PlayStation 5 and the NeXTBox. Skye recalls, "It was a huge step up for us." This is truly where the company took off. Only a few short months after their game was released, XGen Games made its way into the stock market under the symbol "XGEN," in addition to changing their name from "XGen Studios" to "XGen Games." Prior to 2013, the symbol "XGEN" was already taken; however, the company closed its doors on the March of 2010.

Things went well for XGen. Their stock reached $63.44 a stock on New Year's Day. The company was growing at a rapid pace, and was nearly ready to move to New York City. By this time, the XGen Games forums had become the largest forum on the Internet, topping over 160 million posts and 30 million members. The original team and the Information Technology departments were completely unaware of the state of turmoil the forums were in.

One fateful night, on January 3, 2020, just after their stock peaked, Jacob, filling in the position of an Information Technology manger, switched an EthernetII cable to the incorrect port. Jacob says, "I was tired and it was three in the morning. It was just a simple mistake."

Despite being a seemingly minor issue, the forums crashed that day just moments after the switched cable. Consequently, this spread globally to all of the XGen Games servers.

For reasons unknown, this interfered with XGen Games' stock, making it close at $4.04 dollars the next day. No other stocks were affected.

A federal investigation upon the suspicious price concluded that XGen Games was conducting a scandal. Skye was not open to comment when we interviewed him regarding this matter.

[Aquamenti]

:o

[Vagrant]

Blaze Makes Big Article

'Nuff said

[KattFire]

Blaze Makes Large Article, Which Ultimately Comes True

The supercomputer Blaze 2.0.3 wrote an article in early 2008, which ultimately came true, thus leaving much speculation on exactly how it knew. Some say that it calculated the possibilities, and chose the most likely, others say it has a time machine, and even more have started a religion worshipping him.

Blaze has chosen not to comment at this time.

[Blaze Zero-Three]

Last Updated: Friday, 4 January 2008, 04:00 GMT

CITATION TO AUTHOR OF NEWS ARTICLE IS MISSPELLED, RESULTS IN MURDER OF FURFAG

Seemingly minor typo leads to murder of furry lover.

OREGON, SOMEWHERE (CNN) -- "The supercomputer Blaze 2.0.3 wrote an article in early 2008, which ultimately came true, thus leaving much speculation on exactly how it knew. Some say that it calculated the possibilities, and chose the most likely, others say it has a time machine, and even more have started a religion worshipping him.

Blaze has chosen not to comment at this time," stated earlier today by KattFire, was referring to an article that did not exist at the time. This may be because either the author was incorrectly cited (Blaze 2.0.3) or that the article was not even created in the first place.

Even should the article exist, the author would have been offended at the wording of the article, referring to the author as an object ("it").

However, being an article of such short length, it was declared unofficial by CNN and classified as a blog post. Therefore, gathering little public interest. Furthermore, the lack of resources and citations pushed public interest down even more so.

Despite being an article of little importance, was pronounced dead by paramedics from a gunshot wound to the head. Police then accessed his computer, and, after charging the now-dead author of the small article for child pornography, believed that the incorrect citation may have led the original author of the "article in early 2008" to murder Katt.

The local police have opened an investigation on the matter, and have found very little evidence from fingerprints or DNA. Police officer Tomoshii Nodoka concluded, "This is one of the cleanest murders we have ever seen. All the evidence we have is a .45 caliber sniper round in Katt's head and the same sized bullet-hole from the window."

This led local police to believe that the murderer was on the rooftop of a neighbor's house with a gun of unknown model. Despite many hours of inspection of the rooftop and surrounding area, no evidence was found that could trace the local police to the murderer.

This murder has led to incredible public interest to the short article, creating a number of conspiracies.

The most prevalent is that the theory that the article does exist; however, it's hidden in archives of unknown origin, and that the original author changed his/her name on the article, making it false. However, this makes the rest of the article completely plausible.

"We're sure that article is out there, but we don't really know what to look for," says conspiracy theorist Ryan Gasik. "The whole article, for all we know, could have been edited," Gasik concludes.

[Btg911]

Last Updated: Friday, 4 January 2008, 04:00 GMT

CITATION TO AUTHOR OF NEWS ARTICLE IS MISSPELLED, RESULTS IN MURDER OF FURFAG

Seemingly minor typo leads to murder of furry lover.

OREGON, SOMEWHERE (CNN) -- "The supercomputer Blaze 2.0.3 wrote an article in early 2008, which ultimately came true, thus leaving much speculation on exactly how it knew. Some say that it calculated the possibilities, and chose the most likely, others say it has a time machine, and even more have started a religion worshipping him.

Blaze has chosen not to comment at this time," stated earlier today by KattFire, was referring to an article that did not exist at the time. This may be because either the author was incorrectly cited (Blaze 2.0.3) or that the article was not even created in the first place.

Even should the article exist, the author would have been offended at the wording of the article, referring to the author as an object ("it").

However, being an article of such short length, it was declared unofficial by CNN and classified as a blog post. Therefore, gathering little public interest. Furthermore, the lack of resources and citations pushed public interest down even more so.

Despite being an article of little importance, was pronounced dead by paramedics from a gunshot wound to the head. Police then accessed his computer, and, after charging the now-dead author of the small article for child pornography, believed that the incorrect citation may have led the original author of the "article in early 2008" to murder Katt.

The local police have opened an investigation on the matter, and have found very little evidence from fingerprints or DNA. Police officer Tomoshii Nodoka concluded, "This is one of the cleanest murders we have ever seen. All the evidence we have is a .45 caliber sniper round in Katt's head and the same sized bullet-hole from the window."

This led local police to believe that the murderer was on the rooftop of a neighbor's house with a gun of unknown model. Despite many hours of inspection of the rooftop and surrounding area, no evidence was found that could trace the local police to the murderer.

This murder has led to incredible public interest to the short article, creating a number of conspiracies.

The most prevalent is that the theory that the article does exist; however, it's hidden in archives of unknown origin, and that the original author changed his/her name on the article, making it false. However, this makes the rest of the article completely plausible.

"We're sure that article is out there, but we don't really know what to look for," says conspiracy theorist Ryan Gasik. "The whole article, for all we know, could have been edited," Gasik concludes.



Police officer Tomoshii Nodoka arrested her bigger brother, Kasai Nodoka for possesion of drugs.

D:<

[KattFire]

Kasai Nodoka Arrested

Earlier in the week, Kasai Nodoka was arrested for possession of drugs. The famous Ninja was caught with steroids, thus losing half his fan-base in one move, and destroying his reputation. He denies ever using them, but urine-tests have proven him guilty of use of these drugs.

He has lost his three Ninja of the Year awards, and was fined one trillion Yen, but he was not forced to do prison-time, rather he is now under house-arrest. Rumor has it, it was his younger sister that brought him in, and she also enrolled him in a re-hab program.

Kasai Nodoka refused to comment upon his current position, but promises CNN an interview, when he is ready.

[Shadowcasterx4ffc]

Saturday, April 25, 2015

After many years, Ballistick Released

XGen Studios has finally released its much-awaited game, Stick Arena: Go Ballistick, which is an expansion to a 2005 2d shooter game, Stick Arena. Xgen gives credit to Kasai Nodoka's weapon of choice for his murder, as they have taken his wapon in as the sixth weapon for their game.

While XGen fans are happy to at last see the expansion, some are still furious at XGen for the game taking so long, seeing as how the trailer was introduced in 2006. As quoted by both donkey2006 and then later on Shadowcasterx4ffc in the year of 2007, members of the XGen Studios Forums, "You have no idea how much code goes into a game like this."

Beta testing began in early 2011, though it was said by Danny that the Beta testing was supposed to start in December, 2007. A number of members from the XGen Studios Forums were selected for the Beta. Why the Beta testing took so long was unknown. XGen Studios founder Skye Boyes states, "There were too many bugs to be fixed, one of which included the flames from one of the weapons, the flame thrower."

Killingspree, a member of the XGen Forums that was selected for Beta testing, gave us his opinion on the game. "The overall gameplay is nice. Graphics are definitely improved, and it is in fact true what XGen said about Ballistick being unhackable. I had asked Hackor1, a quite well known hacker, to make an attempt at hacking the game. He failed." But with all good, there comes bad. "Unfortunately," says Skye Boyes, "one of our Beta tester's parents gave us a very nasty call, commenting on the blood. We were forced to do some more editing, and eventually had to remove a lot of the blood."

"There are still some bugs in the game," says Danny. "But, like in the original, these will be fixed with time."

[Liokae]

Blood Found To Be Primary Cause Of Death

Tulsa, OK

In a truly bizarre suicide case, a man was found to be dead from excessive blood in his circulatory system. Doctors eventually determined that the man had been injecting himself intravenously with extra full units of AB negative, while not allowing drainage of platelets already in his system. Cause of death was officially determined to be massive internal bleeding from burst veins.

[Scornic]

Last Updated: Saturday, 12 May 2013, 11:00 GMT

Rubik's rhombicosidodecahedron solved!
Latest in the Rubik's puzzle line is solved by unemployed virgin.


CALIFORNIA, SAN FRANSISCO: Officials today detained level 45 Dungeon Master Thomas 'Plague' O'Connor, after he illegedly solved the Rubik's rhombicosidodecahedron. After five ours of intensive torture techniques and grilling interrogation, Dictator Clinton has released this statement:

"Mr. O'Connor not only claims to have solved this 'unsolvable' puzzle, but also claims to have video taped the entire 65 hour proccess of solving the rhombicosidodecahedron. We can not stand for this, and allow unemployed nerds to sit in their mother's basements increasing their brain power! Every person in this country should be evil, and so to keep our intellectual level equal, he will be sentanced to death if these 'solve' tapes are found." -Dictator Hillary Clinton

Thomas' mother claims to have bought this puzzle three weeks ago, thinking it would occupy her worthless slob of a son. She calls this the worst mistake of her life, and has filed a class action lawsuit against the 'Winning Games' company. They have filed a countersuit, under the grounds that she is a traitor to our country, and she now faces death row with her son.

To purchase this Rubik's Rhombicosidodecahedron, visit rubiks.com.

(PS: A rhombicosidodecahedron is an Archimedean solid. It has 20 regulartriangular faces, 30 regular square faces, 12 regular pentagonal faces, 60 vertices and 120 edges.)

[Frosty]

Grand Theft Auto III kills innocent son.


New York City, NY: Yesterday a mother was in tears when she learned that her 40-year old son was violently killed by the new game he received for Christmas, Grand Theft Auto III.

"I'd just left the house to get some milk, when... when..." said the distressed parent. "When it happened..."

When the mother had returned home, she found her son, dead. Lying in a pool of his own blood. The police confirmed that the game had apparently picked up an aluminum baseball bat and brutally beat the innocent 40-year old to death.

"This is just a warning to all the mothers out there. Video games kill."

[Blaze Zero-Three]

Wanna update that, Frosty?

[/bump]