Vagrant
06-02-2004, 12:09 AM
Stalin Conscription Poster:
http://img16.imageshack.us/img16/5408/comradestalin.png
I won't put the image on because it's pretty large.
Stalin Kids Story
Stalin Drives Out the Evil Capitalist Swine
By Nikolai Evanovich Lebechowsky
Come children, listen to your Uncle Stalin as he tells you of things long past. My dear Mother Russia was once in distress. Capitalists were ruining the lives of the Soviet people, making them poor and miserable. Many people were in pain, but nobody would stand up to the evil capitalists. Finally, out of the desperation of the people, a hero, and one held dearly to my heart, emerged, to stop the capitalists from ruining our great country. Lenin was the one to stop the capitalists. He tried and tried, gaining help and trust from other people who were angry with the capitalists. Lenin and his friends finally decided that enough was enough, and that they should get rid of the bad people. Lenin led an angry group of people to remove the capitalists from the Soviet Union, and give people hope through the great idea of communism, which would provide the Union with some of the best luxuries possible.
Lenin, despite helping to take power away from capitalists, had to keep on fighting to stop their evil ways. And boy, were they evil. They wore out poor, brave Lenin. Lenin could not go on, so he asked me, your Uncle Stalin, to continue his work fighting the evil capitalists.
I was still learning to fight against the nasty capitalists, but I’m a quick learner. Together, the great Russian people and I smashed them! Then we smashed them some more! Then we mashed and bashed them! Then I started a new club, called the KGB. The KGB clubbed them and dubbed them and rubbed them into the ground. Hooray for your good friends, the KGB!
Your pals, the KGB, won their fight against the capitalists. But the fight never ends! We dug comfy homes in the ground, and filled them with bad people. We moved them to vacation destinations, like Siberia. We put them on diets, and within weeks, they were showing tremendous weight loss! But were they grateful? No!
After a long struggle, I met a nice boy, Adolf. I thought he was my new friend. But nasty Adolf was an evil capitalist, and he saw me as weak, so he did mean things, like kick sand in my face and bomb Leningrad. I asked Adolf kindly to stop, but he wouldn’t stop. He kept hurting my friends, so I had to get mean too.
I was angry because of what Adolf had done, so I chased Adolf to the city of Berlin, where we played a nice game of dodge the projectiles. Soon after, I showed the East Berliners the same kindness and goodwill that I have shown you.
Finally, the capitalists had left the Soviet Union, and the people lived happily ever after.
The End
Stalin's Resume
8/5/49
Vissarionovich “Joseph Stalin” Djugashvili
Kremlin St.
Moscow, USSR
Objective:
To bring the entire world to the greatness of Communism through world domination.
Work Experience:
Dictator of Soviet Union 1929 – Present
Responsible for several purges of top officials for possible conspiracy
Institution of five-year plans
Defeated Hitler’s Blitzkrieg and fought back, resulting in capture of Berlin
Initiated massive propaganda campaigns
Eliminated Trotsky from opposition
Responsible for control over satellite nations
Caused widespread starvation by killing millions of farmers
Responsible for Russification
Set up Iron Curtain
Created Warsaw Pact
Helped foment Korean War
General Secretary of Communist Party 1922 – 1929
Elected to Politburo 1917
Given title of Commissar of Nationalities by Lenin 1917
Editor of Pravda (The Truth) 1913/1917
Elected to Central Committee of Bolsheviks 1912
Wrote for Marxist Journal, “Brdzola” (The Struggle) 1901
Joined Marxist revolutionary group 1898
Skills:
20 years of leadership as Premier of Soviet Union
20 years of purging opposition
Propaganda writing
Education:
1899 – Student at Georgian Orthodox Church. Expelled for not appearing for an examination because of interest in Marxism.
Other Interests:
Fooling the masses; causing mass poverty; genocide; propaganda; abuse of power
References:
Lenin
Khrushchev
Politburo
Communist Party
Stalin's obituary:
Obituary
March 10, 1953 – The heart of the comrade-in-arms and continuer of genius of Lenin's cause, of the wise leader and teacher of the Communist Party and the Soviet Union, has ceased to beat. Our great Comrade Stalin died on March 5th, at 9:50 AM. The Comrade’s body was transported via a white car to the Kremlin Mortuary. Doctors performed an autopsy and believe that he died of a cerebral hemorrhage, but investigators are looking for any capitalist swine who might have caused this. Embalmers prepared his body for temporary display in the Hall of Columns. Thousands of people lined the streets that day, wishing to mourn our great Comrade. No injuries or deaths were reported among the masses of mourners. Soon after, his body was moved into Red Square, besides the great revolutionary, our dear Comrade Lenin. Three friends of the state, Georgy Malenkov, Lavrenty Beria, and Vyacheslav Molotov, gave speeches to the greatness of our now gone Comrade. Guns, whistles, and bells were heard soon after among the streets, as mourners commemorated their great leader and friend.
Survivors: Daughter, Svetlana.
http://img16.imageshack.us/img16/5408/comradestalin.png
I won't put the image on because it's pretty large.
Stalin Kids Story
Stalin Drives Out the Evil Capitalist Swine
By Nikolai Evanovich Lebechowsky
Come children, listen to your Uncle Stalin as he tells you of things long past. My dear Mother Russia was once in distress. Capitalists were ruining the lives of the Soviet people, making them poor and miserable. Many people were in pain, but nobody would stand up to the evil capitalists. Finally, out of the desperation of the people, a hero, and one held dearly to my heart, emerged, to stop the capitalists from ruining our great country. Lenin was the one to stop the capitalists. He tried and tried, gaining help and trust from other people who were angry with the capitalists. Lenin and his friends finally decided that enough was enough, and that they should get rid of the bad people. Lenin led an angry group of people to remove the capitalists from the Soviet Union, and give people hope through the great idea of communism, which would provide the Union with some of the best luxuries possible.
Lenin, despite helping to take power away from capitalists, had to keep on fighting to stop their evil ways. And boy, were they evil. They wore out poor, brave Lenin. Lenin could not go on, so he asked me, your Uncle Stalin, to continue his work fighting the evil capitalists.
I was still learning to fight against the nasty capitalists, but I’m a quick learner. Together, the great Russian people and I smashed them! Then we smashed them some more! Then we mashed and bashed them! Then I started a new club, called the KGB. The KGB clubbed them and dubbed them and rubbed them into the ground. Hooray for your good friends, the KGB!
Your pals, the KGB, won their fight against the capitalists. But the fight never ends! We dug comfy homes in the ground, and filled them with bad people. We moved them to vacation destinations, like Siberia. We put them on diets, and within weeks, they were showing tremendous weight loss! But were they grateful? No!
After a long struggle, I met a nice boy, Adolf. I thought he was my new friend. But nasty Adolf was an evil capitalist, and he saw me as weak, so he did mean things, like kick sand in my face and bomb Leningrad. I asked Adolf kindly to stop, but he wouldn’t stop. He kept hurting my friends, so I had to get mean too.
I was angry because of what Adolf had done, so I chased Adolf to the city of Berlin, where we played a nice game of dodge the projectiles. Soon after, I showed the East Berliners the same kindness and goodwill that I have shown you.
Finally, the capitalists had left the Soviet Union, and the people lived happily ever after.
The End
Stalin's Resume
8/5/49
Vissarionovich “Joseph Stalin” Djugashvili
Kremlin St.
Moscow, USSR
Objective:
To bring the entire world to the greatness of Communism through world domination.
Work Experience:
Dictator of Soviet Union 1929 – Present
Responsible for several purges of top officials for possible conspiracy
Institution of five-year plans
Defeated Hitler’s Blitzkrieg and fought back, resulting in capture of Berlin
Initiated massive propaganda campaigns
Eliminated Trotsky from opposition
Responsible for control over satellite nations
Caused widespread starvation by killing millions of farmers
Responsible for Russification
Set up Iron Curtain
Created Warsaw Pact
Helped foment Korean War
General Secretary of Communist Party 1922 – 1929
Elected to Politburo 1917
Given title of Commissar of Nationalities by Lenin 1917
Editor of Pravda (The Truth) 1913/1917
Elected to Central Committee of Bolsheviks 1912
Wrote for Marxist Journal, “Brdzola” (The Struggle) 1901
Joined Marxist revolutionary group 1898
Skills:
20 years of leadership as Premier of Soviet Union
20 years of purging opposition
Propaganda writing
Education:
1899 – Student at Georgian Orthodox Church. Expelled for not appearing for an examination because of interest in Marxism.
Other Interests:
Fooling the masses; causing mass poverty; genocide; propaganda; abuse of power
References:
Lenin
Khrushchev
Politburo
Communist Party
Stalin's obituary:
Obituary
March 10, 1953 – The heart of the comrade-in-arms and continuer of genius of Lenin's cause, of the wise leader and teacher of the Communist Party and the Soviet Union, has ceased to beat. Our great Comrade Stalin died on March 5th, at 9:50 AM. The Comrade’s body was transported via a white car to the Kremlin Mortuary. Doctors performed an autopsy and believe that he died of a cerebral hemorrhage, but investigators are looking for any capitalist swine who might have caused this. Embalmers prepared his body for temporary display in the Hall of Columns. Thousands of people lined the streets that day, wishing to mourn our great Comrade. No injuries or deaths were reported among the masses of mourners. Soon after, his body was moved into Red Square, besides the great revolutionary, our dear Comrade Lenin. Three friends of the state, Georgy Malenkov, Lavrenty Beria, and Vyacheslav Molotov, gave speeches to the greatness of our now gone Comrade. Guns, whistles, and bells were heard soon after among the streets, as mourners commemorated their great leader and friend.
Survivors: Daughter, Svetlana.