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AssaultRifle
03-02-2006, 10:07 PM
I was on my way to school on September 11, 2001 in the seventh grade. It was an ordinary day, the kind you don't really expect anything to happen in. I arrived at school at about 7:30-7:45. At around 8-9 o'clock, if I remember correctly, we heard an announcement that one of the twin towers (WTCs) had been struck by a plane. At first I thought "What a horrible accident".

It only just hit me that it could have been on purpose, when our teacher came into the room and said we were to evacuate the building as soon as possible. the second tower had just been struck.

I called my father, who is a sergeant in the NYPD, and told him to get me home. He said "Dom, you are going to have to come into the city with me, we are going to need help". A grim darkness fell over me. I felt as if someone was telling me to stab my eye with a needle, but I did not deny what I had to do.

My father picked me up in a squad car, and quickly got us home. There we hastily grabbed flashlights, water bottles, leather gloves, gas masks, and other construction eqipment. I grabbed my workboots and ran outside, only to have my father say to me "Dom, if anything happens to me were we become seperated, run." I didn't know what to say... So I nodded and got into the car.

Arriving in Manhatten, all you could hear were the cries for help from the people on the sidewalks begging for God to save the people in the building. You would look outside teh window and see that everyone was not walking, not moving... Just looking upwards at the over-1000-foot high billows of smoke and ash.

Arriving only a block away from the towers, me and my father started to run towards them. Everything was in slow motion, there were people on the sidewalks dead, having jumped from their office windows in order to escape. Others were laying on the pavement sprawled, hit by debris coming from above us. We had no choice on what to do, because at that moment we heard the sound.

It was like a train going full speed hitting a brick wall. A deafening crash as we all looked upwards. The tower was starting to move, so we all started to run. Seconds later, it cam crashing down. I turn around, only in time enough to see a cloud moving toward me like a wave of destruction. I nearly didn't get my gas mask and goggles on in time as I dove behind a parked truck.

1 minute passed. Then 2, then 3, then 10. All I could hear was noise. All I could taste was dust. I got off of the ground only to find bodies on the pavement nearly 100 feet away from me spread-eagle from the blast. It was like a rush of power, I ran to them.

Me and my father made it out alive, we helped who we could... the rest is history...

Part 2: The Aftermath

Nobody could believe what happened. Cell phones were not working anymore. Television was down. Almost the entire city was scared of another attack. I didn't sleep that night, all I could think about were the faces of those who ran next to me when the buildings dropped, but weren't as lucky as I was.

I didn't want to open my eyes the next morining, I wanted it all to be a dream. I could still hear the screams, the cries for help. Those calling were not screaming randomly, but screaming my name. My name! It was driving me insane... It was my entire focus, and I couldn't get the voices to stop...

My father woke me up, and told me we had t go back. So I went, what else was I to do? The ride seemed faster then the day before, everything seemed to be moving fast...

It was terrible digging through the rubble, dust in your eyes even with goggles. I could only think of those trapped below...


Added Mar 03, 9:09 PM

I couldn't think of anything else to do. It was like my body was a machine with one command "Search... Rescue...". Thats about all of it. The days passed like seconds, with brief stops of the horror of fining a mangled body in the rubble. It was like looking death in the face, and just having to bear with it.

It was 2 weeks after the tragedy when I started to realize something that I never knew before, patriotism. The attack brought out the patriot in me, as well as every New Yorker around me. People would cook for us on bbq's in the street, others would drive to food markets just to bring us back a few cases of water. Day by day, we saw more and more flags hanging high on tattered building that spoke one thing to us, hope.

Was it a 100% bad thing? No. It showed everyone the meaning of friendship, hope, and faith. Somehow, all the people of New York had banded together like brothers and sisters. It is the first time I ever felt that we were all equal people. Funny isn't it... How in a country where everyone is suppose to be free and equal that I never felt that everyone was my equal?

More to come on my remembrance in my next EDIT.



Story will be updated again soon.

Honeycomb
03-02-2006, 10:09 PM
Why are we talking about this? But very interesting story you got. Your the only Xgen member I know who was their. I saw a video of the plane crash. Tis sad.

I remember grade 3. I was late I think (Most stories I read people were late for school or work...weird...) and people were sitting in my classroom talking to the teacher. i was about 3-5 minutes late and saw it on TV and was like wtf.

Vagrant
03-02-2006, 10:38 PM
It's funny how it doesn't seem so long ago.

I was also in the 7th grade, just as you AR. However, I live in California, far away from New York.

When I woke up that day, I took a shower as per usual. I remember coming down the stairs after the shower, my hair was still wet and I was playing with it. I could hear the TV on in the kitchen, which is strange, because my parents don't normally watch TV in the morning. As soon as I reached the bottom step, my mother ran up to me and told me what happened.

I watched the TV screen for a couple of minutes. The second trade tower had not been hit yet, or at least the news channel didn't show it. It felt sort of ethereal, sort of like my brain went into denial.

At the bus stop, I later learned from a classmate that the second tower had been hit and that it was believed the towers would fall within an hour or so.

Also, it turned out later that my parents weren't the first to find out about the towers being hit. My brother had logged onto his computer and his internet homepage was cnn.com, which obviously had the info up. He told my parents and thus that's why the TV was on in the kitchen.


And yeah. That's my story.

Gerbil!
03-02-2006, 11:15 PM
I would post here, but it was too scary. Maybe later.

c00lryguy
03-02-2006, 11:48 PM
I laughed as the plane hit the second tower...thats all I remember of that day. Dead serious too...didn't know wtf the towers were nor did I care. Still don't.

Blaze Zero-Three
03-02-2006, 11:57 PM
I laughed as the plane hit the second tower...thats all I remember of that day. Dead serious too...didn't know wtf the towers were nor did I care. Still don't.
You don't care about 9/11?

Solean
03-03-2006, 12:03 AM
I don't care that awfully much. Many worse things have been done, and I care about those more. I care about Africa way more than 9/11. The situation there is truly tragic. In fact, I remember thinking, "Isn't everybody over reacting right now? Usually people get over it by now." But of course not! It happened in AMERICA! FEAR.

c00lryguy
03-03-2006, 12:54 AM
You don't care about 9/11?

Why would I? Of all the events in the world, 9/11 is just a footnote. Life is about survival. I'm alive, apparently I'm winning.

Mike Holiday
03-03-2006, 02:00 AM
It's true. How many thousands die each day from land disputes and useless violence? I remember that day. I was in 9th grade, and it was quite early-about 9:30 or so. Electricity doesn't travel instantaneously, so the news got here a little later. In school, my teacher suddenly gasped when she looked at her laptop. She flipped on the tube, and turned to CNN. I looked at the T.V., and in my mind thought "That must suck.". Only good side to that day is that we lazed around doing nothing.

Lui
03-03-2006, 03:42 AM
Well I remmember my story, I was just walking past my school hall until I heard someone shout out that the Twin Towers had just been hit with a plane, I was then shocked by it, thats my story.

I can't believe AR was actually there, a real XGen member Eye-Witness....must have been a dreadfull experience.

denacioust
03-03-2006, 03:56 AM
I remember it. I was at school and then I went home. I heard the towers had been hit, and I was like 'Towers? What towers?' And then I went and played football.

Lui
03-03-2006, 04:05 AM
O_O Shame on you for not giving such interest! People died you know! *Runs away like a girl*

denacioust
03-03-2006, 04:23 AM
Yeah, people died but if happen to care people die every day on the news, a big attack in America to me is no different from a big attack in Iraq, I'm not going to get upset about it.

b.i.g.
03-03-2006, 05:46 AM
I didint care
i would post some funny pictures but you would get extremely offended

AssaultRifle
03-03-2006, 05:50 AM
I am editing in a part-2 to this story now. After re-reading it this morining, I found that there was alot of things that I left out.

Mr.Man
03-03-2006, 06:08 AM
I remember it very well. I live near St.Louis, nowhere near New York, but it hit us almost as hard.

I was in 4th grade, and we were lucky to have such a politically aware teacher. Other teachers refused to tell the kids what happened, but my class heard the entire thing on the radio. It was like somebody giving you the play-by-play of a huge
multi-car crash. Only 10,000 times more deadly and intense.

There is absolutely no reason why anybody would not be struck by this. Our largest and most important city has been attacked; our sense of security has been breached. Even though I was hundreds of miles away, I know the same feeling came over the entire country, all the way to the west coast.
Thank you for reminding people of what happened. We needed it.

Mike Holiday
03-03-2006, 08:50 AM
If someone flew a plane into my house and killed me, would any of you care?

AssaultRifle
03-03-2006, 08:54 AM
Bu we are not speaking of a house, we are speaking of 2 mojor buildings in a mojor city with over 5,000 people in the upper floors alone that died. There is a big difference.

Tanktunker
03-03-2006, 09:03 AM
It was like somebody giving you the play-by-play of a huge
multi-car crash. Only 10,000 times more deadly and intense.
It wasn't that big, it's only the fact that it's a terrorism attack, planned by a man, in the intent of killing a large amount of people, that it was so sensationalised.
I'm pretty sure only a few thousand people were killed if that, whereas in a something 10,000 times more deadly and intense than a multi car crash, with say 6 killed and 20 injured, which means 60,000 killed and 20,000 injured.
but regardless, I have something to say about AR and Vag's comments in this thread.

One of my teachers once talked to us about an experiment held where several hundred university students were questioned several hours and then 2 years after hearing about 9/11 about where they were when they heard.

The questioning of after a few hours had mild resaults, with responses usually being something of in the "I was in the dorm watching TV" area, whereas after 2 years the stories were sensationalised expotentially, so I'm not saying you're trying to mislead us, but there's a possability that your memories aren't exactly accurate.

Not that I'm saying that it's easy to remember any something that happened 4 1/2 years ago sharply, but still....

EDIT: I check, the death toll as result of the four planes hijacked is 2,986.

Woolfenstien
03-03-2006, 09:10 AM
I remember coming home from Junior school (I was 7 at the time) and my dad saying that a plane's crashed into some towers in america.

I thought it quite humorous at first, thinking that the towers were on a runway. Plus, they were towers, so the pilot must've been blind or just stupid to've actually drove into a building with an effing huge plane.

When I saw the videos of it on BBC when I got home, it turned out to be pretty bad.
I played my SNES after that.

On boxing day, I think that was when the news returned to normal, and the BBC wasn't going 'OMG ALKIEDA'. Rugby news, if I remember correctly.

Gerbil!
03-03-2006, 10:47 AM
In second grade, I still remember alot.

I went into school happy. During Spelling, the intercom started recieving strange waves of sound. The sound of an airplane engine was running, and a language speaking something I couldn't understand. We all went into the lunchroom, as my current Social Studies teacher pulled out a gun. If anyone was coming, he'd shoot them. The waves continued until about 15 minutes later.

*Shizzle*
You could hear the explosion for a fifth of a second.

What the **** was that? Said a noble teacher.

My father, driving to work at the World Trade Center to build a desk, stopped his van.

He called.

"Put me over the intercom."

"The World Trade Center has been struck by an airplane."

The rest, I can't remember.

DarkReality
03-03-2006, 11:01 AM
Your attempt at humor failed miserably.

Doug05257
03-03-2006, 11:09 AM
Sprbld, you fail.

Anyhow I think it was the beginning of 9th grade? I was in my first class and all of the sudden the intercom told all the teachers to turn to the news on their classroom TV's.

I watched the airplane hit the second tower on live TV. Later on, I saw all three towers fall on live TV.

ODDDLY
03-03-2006, 11:09 AM
I care about Africa way more than 9/11.
:rolleyes:

killertron
03-03-2006, 11:10 AM
im the kind of guy that laughs at people dieing.

nyahnyah
03-03-2006, 11:21 AM
In second grade, I still remember alot.

I went into school happy. During Spelling, the intercom started recieving strange waves of sound. The sound of an airplane engine was running, and a language speaking something I couldn't understand. We all went into the lunchroom, as my current Social Studies teacher pulled out a gun. If anyone was coming, he'd shoot them. The waves continued until about 15 minutes later.

*Shizzle*
You could hear the explosion for a fifth of a second.

What the **** was that? Said a noble teacher.

My father, driving to work at the World Trade Center to build a desk, stopped his van.

He called.

"Put me over the intercom."

"The World Trade Center has been struck by an airplane."

The rest, I can't remember.Half i believe,half i dont.

denacioust
03-03-2006, 11:54 AM
In second grade, I still remember alot.


How old does that make you if you were in second grade then?

adapuff
03-03-2006, 11:59 AM
Of all the months of the year..AND IT HAD TO BE NOVEMBER!!! WHY MY BIRTHDAY?!

Tanktunker
03-03-2006, 12:37 PM
Sprbld, you fail.

Anyhow I think it was the beginning of 9th grade? I was in my first class and all of the sudden the intercom told all the teachers to turn to the news on their classroom TV's.

I watched the airplane hit the second tower on live TV. Later on, I saw all three towers fall on live TV.
I'm guessing you're kidding, because they didn't show either towers fall live nor were there 3 towers, just 2, a pentagon and a field.

Vince
03-03-2006, 01:24 PM
I was in fifth grade. The exact moment that it happened was when I was in math class, I still remember my teacher crying when she heard the news. I learned later what actually happened when I got home.

the big kid
03-03-2006, 01:26 PM
I remember that it was grade 5 and the teacher was really upset about it but no one really cared because t was so far away, but places near where I lived were affected alot such as Gander and some places where I live because everyone who was flying had to go down somewhere and alot of them came to Newfoundland and we gave them all places to stay.

There was one family and they had someone from like Asia or something stay with them then the Asia dude later when he got back to his home sent two tickets to Asia to live with him for a few days.

I also remember that like a month or two after the actual event my teacher brought it up and then other people started sharing stories along with the one above and they were all so amazingly unbelievable that I doubt they were true like one story said that was going to drop there kid off at school and then go to work but the kid didn't want to go he said that something was wrong. Anyways his mom had brought him back to his house and whille they wree there it started.

Jonanin
03-03-2006, 02:19 PM
I don't care that awfully much. Many worse things have been done, and I care about those more. I care about Africa way more than 9/11. The situation there is truly tragic. In fact, I remember thinking, "Isn't everybody over reacting right now? Usually people get over it by now." But of course not! It happened in AMERICA! FEAR.

That is very true.

Click!
3...2...1... Click!
3...2...1... Click!

Every 3 seconds, someone dies from aids and/or extreme poverty. Thats far more tragic than 9/11.

Click!

But of course, because 9/11 happened in america, its far more important. If it happened somewhere else, it wouldn't matter, would it?

Click!

coolguy1351
03-03-2006, 02:32 PM
wow. That story is amazing. Unbelievable. That's sad and amazing at the same time. Hard to believe you were at the site.

AssaultRifle
03-03-2006, 02:45 PM
That is very true.

Click!
3...2...1... Click!
3...2...1... Click!

Every 3 seconds, someone dies from aids and/or extreme poverty. Thats far more tragic than 9/11.

Click!

But of course, because 9/11 happened in america, its far more important. If it happened somewhere else, it wouldn't matter, would it?

Click!

What the hell are you saying? You have no idea what you are talking about, you weren't there. Until you look into the eyes of those that are running next to you and die soon after you know nothing of tragedy. Who ever said that other countries had to care? Nobody. Why it wouldn't matter somewhere esle is beyond me... If it happend to you, would you forget about it? Would it be less important to you for freinds to die only hundreds of feet away from the spot that you live? No, you would feel the same way I do. I love my country, I don't care if other don't, but we are all human... have a little respect for those who gave thier lives to save others.

Mr.Man
03-03-2006, 04:09 PM
That is very true.

Click!
3...2...1... Click!
3...2...1... Click!

Every 3 seconds, someone dies from aids and/or extreme poverty. Thats far more tragic than 9/11.

Click!

But of course, because 9/11 happened in america, its far more important. If it happened somewhere else, it wouldn't matter, would it?

Click!

How about having the most important city in the world crippled almost beyond repair?

Also, how can you die from poverty?

denacioust
03-03-2006, 04:47 PM
Of all the months of the year..AND IT HAD TO BE NOVEMBER!!! WHY MY BIRTHDAY?!

It was September. Did you even look at this thread at all?



How about having the most important city in the world crippled almost beyond repair?


A death is a death, you can't look at someone's death as more important because they were Americans. The aftermath of 9/11, as in what America did afterwards, crippled the rest of the world.


Also, how can you die from poverty?


Hmmmhh...lets see, how do you get your food?

ODDDLY
03-03-2006, 05:02 PM
That is very true.

Click!
3...2...1... Click!
3...2...1... Click!

Every 3 seconds, someone dies from aids and/or extreme poverty. Thats far more tragic than 9/11.

Click!

But of course, because 9/11 happened in america, its far more important. If it happened somewhere else, it wouldn't matter, would it?

Click!
Yes it would, dunce.

The London bombings on 7\7 hit the news here pretty hard here in America (cut out :rolleyes: )

How is the death of somebody that has AIDS more tragic than somebody who was killed by a terrorist (or by their own country's goverment, as I believe)? How can you measure a human life by how they die? You're a disgusting person.

"When we say that someone has died of AIDS, we mean that she or he has died as a result of one of these opportunistic infections or cancers."

AIDS dosn't kill anybody, it just breaks down their body.

zecantu
03-03-2006, 05:04 PM
i was so young i was laughing cause i didnt know it was real...............

Crushthor
03-03-2006, 05:04 PM
yes it does

ODDDLY
03-03-2006, 05:09 PM
yes it does
...

If you're reffering to my AIDS comment, you obviously didn't read it close enough; AIDS breaks down your immune system, you don't actually die of "AIDS."

denacioust
03-03-2006, 05:20 PM
AIDS = something Immune Deficiency Syndrome. You don't die of it, per se, it brings about your death however.

AssaultRifle
03-03-2006, 06:38 PM
AIDS breaks down your immune system, as others have stated, and the only thing that kills you can be as little as a common cold because your body cannot fight it.

Doug05257
03-03-2006, 06:55 PM
I'm guessing you're kidding, because they didn't show either towers fall live nor were there 3 towers, just 2, a pentagon and a field.
Just so you know, the World Trade Center wasn't just those two towers. It was an entire complex made up of those towers and a few other moderately-sized buildings (in comparison) as well. Three towers fell that day. I saw the smaller one fall. That one they showed live.

AssaultRifle
03-03-2006, 07:04 PM
Both were showed live as they happened on CNN, FOX, and NBC. But that didn't matter in New York, most people could just see it by looking out their windows.

Bodadem
03-03-2006, 07:05 PM
AIDS = something Immune Deficiency Syndrome. You don't die of it, per se, it brings about your death however.
Autoimmune Deficiency Syndrome

Forsaken_13
03-03-2006, 07:21 PM
The reason that it was so important is because America is one of the biggest Superpower in the world. Our Pentagon which is the head of the CIA was destroyed are center for economic growth was destroyed and they attempted to destroy our capital. This has been going on but it was brought the the modern world. I find you story AR somewhat unbelivable. Unless your school was right under the towers it woudlve been difficult for you to get there in time to see them crash and i dont think they wouldve let a 12-year old near it. If it really is true you should submit that story to Time magazine and you could be in it. I was in school at 5th grade and the history teacher was teaching and the one teacher whispered to the other teacher something and we started watching the news. No one understood what was happening and the teachers were ordered to turn it off.

Hex
03-03-2006, 07:22 PM
Well, I went from a size 8 to a size 6 with Ayds... I dunno about you...

AssaultRifle
03-03-2006, 07:27 PM
Updated Edit on front page.

Posh Jibbons
03-03-2006, 07:43 PM
It's very depressing, but some things simply don't phase me. I was 3,000 miles away on my way to school when we heard it over the radio. My mom pulled over to the side of the road and just stared in amazement. I think I recall her saying, "This is insane, I've never been alive and aware to experience something this big before." She called a few friends she had in NY to make sure they were safe while she dumped us off at school. And in calss we just sat and watched the news all day... at the time I was repeating the 8th grade in a catholic school, so they made us pray for a while as well.

Sorry guys, I have a hard time remembering things.

c00lryguy
03-03-2006, 08:10 PM
Both were showed live as they happened on CNN, FOX, and NBC. But that didn't matter in New York, most people could just see it by looking out their windows.

Oh yeah, I could look down the street, a hundred miles, and see it go down. How come when people think New York, they think New York City? Piss off.

AssaultRifle
03-03-2006, 08:12 PM
Oh yeah, I could look down the street, a hundred miles, and see it go down. How come when people think New York, they think New York City? Piss off.

Because I live in New York City. I'm not saying everyone, there is more to New York than the city, of course, the only reason that New York City is refered to as New York is because of the commerce and tourism located in Manhatten and the other four buroughs (sp?).

Doug05257
03-04-2006, 12:27 AM
Autoimmune Deficiency Syndrome

Hmm. Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome is what I was told.

And AR, nice job misspelling the name of your own city... :P

Mike Holiday
03-04-2006, 12:51 AM
It's manhattan and boroughs.

Edit: spelled manhattan wrong. Yeah, I suck.

Lui
03-04-2006, 02:29 AM
Well, nice job Dom with the story, keep updating, I have never heard that much detail on the TWC attack.

Tanktunker
03-04-2006, 03:01 AM
Hmm. Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome is what I was told.

And AR, nice job misspelling the name of your own city... :P
It's Acquired immunodeficiency syndrome, so yeah, you're right on the most part.

AssaultRifle
03-04-2006, 08:06 AM
As all of you know, my strong point is not spelling :p

mattz1010
03-04-2006, 10:19 AM
I remember being a few days late, a friend told me the WTC had fallen down and stuff like that, and they were out to get Osama.

At first I was enraged, but soon after, I stopped caring.

And to this day, I still don't.

AR, you say you looked death in the face? I see it every day, it goes along with my...er, 'job'.

AssaultRifle
03-04-2006, 11:22 AM
I remember being a few days late, a friend told me the WTC had fallen down and stuff like that, and they were out to get Osama.

At first I was enraged, but soon after, I stopped caring.

And to this day, I still don't.

AR, you say you looked death in the face? I see it every day, it goes along with my...er, 'job'.

Yes, I said I looked death in the face, but I never said you did not.

Xplosiv
03-04-2006, 11:24 AM
I remember...I woke up like 6 in the morning.I have my own house.I,like Vagrant,showered and then I played with my SNES.Sometime later,I heard a sound like a few hundred gunshots.I thought 'What the hell...'I turned on the news and found it out-One of the two talles things in existence was torn apart.I called Axel(my mate) and he had heard it.Then,it happened again.It turned out,a few of my dad's friends were dead.I miss them.

c00lryguy
03-04-2006, 01:33 PM
Well guess what everyone? Time to get the hell over it. Noone really cares anymore and if they do, they have no live. I've seen people die. I've had people close to me die. But you don't see me wasting my time telling people my oh so tragic storys.

Next stupid topic: "My tragic story of how Rome fell :'( :'("

Mikeh
03-04-2006, 01:50 PM
I didn't find out until about 3:45 that afternoon. Our principle didn't want to scare us, or some bull#### like that, because I live like 10, 15 miles away from the city...

CDestroyer
03-04-2006, 02:16 PM
That should be like a novel or something, made me feel sad.

Tac_Taf04
03-04-2006, 03:34 PM
I have a lot more respect for AR now you should write that into a book or a short story or something.

AssaultRifle
03-04-2006, 03:36 PM
I have a lot more respect for AR now you should write that into a book or a short story or something.

Thanks :P. I was thinking of making it into a short story or even publish a book about the events. As you can see, my post about it all are limited in specifics. If I was to sit down for a few nights a week and really work on it, I think it could be a good thing to read, no?

Chimpy
09-15-2006, 01:49 PM
How about having the most important city in the world crippled almost beyond repair?

Also, how can you die from poverty?

EDIT: OH ####, I didn't realise this was really old. Very sorry everyone. I posted here because Dom posted the link. My fault.

I'm disappointed how anyone in the world could say something like that. Most important city in the world? Economically, perhaps, but not in any other way. 1 American = 1 anyone else. Perhaps not to extreme nationalist patriots.

And I won't even bother replying to the other one. More people die of disease and crap in Africa every day than died in 9-11. So, 5 years later. Big deal? I think not.

I'm also extremely surprised the 7/7 London bombings actually hit America hard at all. Hardly anyone died.

zecantu
09-15-2006, 01:54 PM
i was so young i was laughing cause i didnt know it was real...............


Ah, back whenever I talked funny.

It is still very tragic though.

-_-

Bodadem
09-15-2006, 01:55 PM
You're an ass, Chimpy. An ass.

Chimpy
09-15-2006, 01:56 PM
Sorry. Really, I am. I'm actually sweating with stupidity now at my retardedness.

Bodadem
09-15-2006, 01:57 PM
I'm glad.

Eman
09-15-2006, 08:51 PM
Why would I? Of all the events in the world, 9/11 is just a footnote. Life is about survival. I'm alive, apparently I'm winning.

That's pretty cynical.