Nobody hears me

[Labtop 215]

I'm not even sure where to start... Well I guess I'll start with whats ticking me off the most.

The first thing that makes me unhappy is the way my mother wont let me work out things between me and my little brother, or me and her, or me and her boyfriend. And I'm not trying to regulate **** or tell people how to act. Its that sometimes people do stuff that gets really irritating after a while, or impede's my enjoyment of something, or I feel I'm being made responsible for something I'd rather not.

Like, the other day my little brother was sitting at his computer and every 2 seconds he's yell out something like "The computer is cheating!", and "Why isn't this working the way I want?", and "uuuuuuuuck." (I think its his way of swearing or something.), and both my mom and her boyfriend are in the same room, just a few meters away and they're completly engrossed in their computers. But my brother is getting beyond annoying at this point because all he does is sit there and ***** about how he's getting owned by a "titan" difficulty enemy. And its bothering me because I can't even sit back and read some forums without being distracted by this. So, I'm asking him politly to stop yelling, and of course my brother dosn't listen to me and just keeps going and he's like "Well LOOK AT THIS! IT SOOO CHEAP!", and I'm like "Well, then stop playing.", and he starts screaming at me and before I can even respond mom is like "Stop fighting, both of you, and go to your rooms.". And its like this every time I try to ask him to stop doing something that annoys me, or something I think he shouldn't do.

And this summer, my mother made me babysit my cousin. Which, theres nothing wrong with him. He's wonderful to babysit, very smart, and co-operative. But after telling me that I have to babysit my cousin, she starts *****ing at me about how this affects her schedual so much, and how she's had enough children and that she shouldn't have to share space in the living room with some 2 year old. Apparently it "infringes" on her alone time.

And thats another problem I have with her actually, she wont sleep anywhere else, but the living room. Even though her boyfriend actually went out and bought this wonder queensized bed with memory foam and wonderful woodwork, she would rather sleep on the couch. Infact apparently the living room is "Her personal room.". And it wrong of my little brother and me to "barge in" on our tippy toes so we can go get our shoes from the front door. Of course she'll use anything as an excuse to be angry about stuff. Just a little while ago my mother's boyfriend stayed up till 1 in the mourning at his computer (which is in the "my moms personal room") and she *****ed at me the next day because she wouldn't go to sleep till 2:30 in the mourning so that she could have some "alone time".

And I can't argue about this. Why? Because she has an arsinal of one-freaking-liners for trying to shut down any seroius discussion I may need to have about her. Like "Your just looking for an argument.", "You don't understand what I have to put up with at work do you?", "You have no place, and no right to tell me how things should be run around here.", "And how would you like it if 2 kids came bursting into your room every mourning at 8 a.m.", "You can go live someplace else, where they beat you to death when you misbehave.", and my personal favorite "Don't you want to be apart of the family anymore?" like she's going to ****ing disown me.

And thats not all, I can't get any sort of part-time job for when I want to move out. And beleive me, I want to move out after highschool. I can't see myself being stuck here at home to complete my university education. And I don't want to, my mother is to difficult for me to deal with because I have no basic freedom here. But at the same time, I need to complete my highschool education, which means I'm stuck here. And I'll be turning 18 in october, just 2 months away. And I get the impression that when I turn 18, she'll be able to kick me out at the drop of a hat.

And to completly shift the focus of the topic away from my homelife, since I have problems elsewhere too... Kids at school, and I know what your thinking that, yes kids at school harrass just about everybody and that it has to be dealt with to some extent. But in my 8th grade year I had to deal with everybody hateing me for one reason or another. I still remember how it was whenever I tried to takl to soembody or when I had to partner up with somebody for a project. No matter what I was always told to get lost and that nobody likes me. And I almost always worked alone. And I stayed up late at night working around the clock to get things done, including mounds of research and doing up word documents... I hated it. I hated being told how much of a loser I am without hearing a reason behind it. I hated being called "fag" all the time, and listening people talk about me and laughing about me. And my councilor would be like, just because they look at you, wisper something, and laugh afterwords dosn't mean they're talking about you. But how else do I explain it when they come up to me afterwards and ask which boy I was sleeping with last?

And I'm not gay. I have nothing against gay people, but I'm not gay myself. And I didn't apreciate having snowballs with broken glass being thrown at me. But, it was even worse when teachers wouldn't do anything about these kids, and the best that I could hope for was to stay in for recess. Which I didn't enjoy. It felt like defeat, only worse cause I couldn't put up any sort of fight.

And thats another thing that makes me angry. Is that its apparently ok for a student to say or do anything, if the other student retalliates with even by asking people to "**** off.". I don't know how that works, and I certainly don't like how that works. Some kid actually did get away with punching me, and after he did I said "What the **** was that for?" and I got in trouble because I swore. And I bet he got a stern "Hey, try not to get caught again." talking to. But I doubt it.

I guess what hurt the most about that year was losing my 2 best friends. Like, one day they just wont talk to me anymore. One, was very verbal about it too. Just one day while I'm trying to talk to him and he just turns around and says "Don't talk to me anymore. Seriously." and I ask why, and he just wont talk to me anymore. And since then neither of these people will talk to me. Even 3 years after. And, it sucks even worse because they have lots of friends. And their friends will talk to me, at least until "he" shows up and then they ignore me. And just nobody will listen to me there.

And I'm even having problems in sea cadets where I'm always getting into arguments with other petty officers. Which I shouldn't seeing as I'm a high ranking petty officer. Petty Officer 1st Class. And I problems with kids at camp so I can't go anymore. Well I can go technically, but I always have problems with people trying to break into my locker, and people throwing rocks at me, and I never get enough time to put on sunscreen so my skin stays red for weeks before peeling, esspecially on my neck. And it makes me wonder if I have skin cancer since it feels leathery kind of.

And I guess it just feels like nobody around me is willing to listen. Whenever I ask for help I get turned down. And I feel like my life is headed for a trainwreck. Is there anything I can do? Does anybody else have stuff like this happen to them on some scale?

Just for the sake of saying this, its taken me about 2 hours to write this. And I don't even think I've got everything thats ticking me off right now, but yea.

Also, while I'm at it. Does anybody ever have somebody do something really mean, and then come up to you and say sorry in a sarcastic matter while they pretend like theres nothing they can do to fix what they've just done? I hate when people do that, it ****es me off to no end.

I also just previewed this, and omg its a page buster. Maybe I should write an essay on this or something.

[Woolfenstien]

Also, while I'm at it. Does anybody ever have somebody do something really mean, and then come up to you and say sorry in a sarcastic matter while they pretend like theres nothing they can do to fix what they've just done? I hate when people do that, it ****es me off to no end.An ex girlfriend of mine cheated on me by getting laid before our we even had our first kiss.

She was all like "it was because you're boring".



Anyway, as for your problem: I would suggest either talking to another family member about it (I assume your parents have split up as the reason why you call your mom's partner her boyfriend), for example your dad, an uncle, or something.

Either that or wait two months and move out. But before you do, think about it:

Do you have anywhere to stay?
Will you be able to make enough money to live on and pay rent?
etc

[Labtop 215]

An ex girlfriend of mine cheated on me by getting laid before our we even had our first kiss.

She was all like "it was because you're boring".



Anyway, as for your problem: I would suggest either talking to another family member about it (I assume your parents have split up as the reason why you call your mom's partner her boyfriend), for example your dad, an uncle, or something.

Either that or wait two months and move out. But before you do, think about it:

Do you have anywhere to stay?
Will you be able to make enough money to live on and pay rent?
etc


I can't talk to my father because he wasn't even there when I was born. At the same time, she's cycled through like 4 boyfriends already in my lifetime, kind of "looking" for a suitable dad. Most of them with maturity or mental problems...

I would like to move out in 2 months, but I wont have completed my high school education before then. My best bet for moving out would be with my grandma and grandpa, but they seem to have plans to move out sometime within the next couple of years and I wouldn't want to hamper that.

My uncle (gee's that is such an annoying word), had recently snapped and attacked my aunt with a bat. They were married. My uncle faces incarseration and my aunt faces bankruptcy.

I probably should have stated this sooner, but I didn't think it was relivent to my current rant.

Is it still possible make it so that my mother still has to legally take care of me until I complete my education?

[dead,moron]

That has to hurt a lot, emotionaly and physicly. I feel extremely sorry for you and angry at the *******s at your school and camp who do this to you. You should talk to the athorities about the snowballs with broken glass, they could probably kill someone with those! (the people who threw them that is.) And you should explain to your mom that the living/family room is not her room and that, being an open part of the house that anyone can go into, she has no right to yell at you about going int a part of the house that belongs to everyone who lives in that house! Just because she is your mother does not mean that can force you out of part of a house that is yours too! She needs to grow up and accept that she is not god. Plus, you're 17 you have to stand up for yourself, even to your mom! I hope this has inspired you to stand up for yourself and your feelings.

[Vagrant]

Well... it sounds like things aren't... quite what they should be. Part of the problem, it sounds like, is you have confidence problems.

First, about your mother. I don't know what she's like, and I won't assume, but when she starts to edge on you, dig your heels in. You don't need to fight her, just resist her. If she's bugging you about entering the living room, say what dead said "The living room is a public part of the house. Don't complain that I'm in the public part. If you don't want me to invade, move to the private part." Myself, I'm a naturally stubborn person. Which means if I feel my rights are being threatened, I assert myself. I think that might help you.

With your brother bugging you by yelling things at the computer, my only suggestion is to either a) play your music nice and loud, or b) buy earmuffs. Because otherwise it's not going to get any better.

Kids at school bugging you? Throwing snowballs with broken glass at you? My boy, sounds like you need to give somebody a good ass-whooping. I don't say that to be funny. People are calling you gay (in the derogatory sense). Now what if they can't breathe? I doubt they'll still be calling you that. It doesn't seem to make much sense, but it will really help you out if you change your reputation from "pansy" to "will kick your ####ing ass if you say that." People will be much more willing to talk to you, and girls find men like that attractive.

If your best friends just shut up and left you without saying why, I'm gonna have to say #### them. They're not worth being friends with, period.



I don't know. It sounds like everybody's using you as their pincushion, and you need to send the pins right back to their owners.

[dead,moron]

Well... it sounds like things aren't... quite what they should be. Part of the problem, it sounds like, is you have confidence problems.

First, about your mother. I don't know what she's like, and I won't assume, but when she starts to edge on you, dig your heels in. You don't need to fight her, just resist her. If she's bugging you about entering the living room, say what dead said "The living room is a public part of the house. Don't complain that I'm in the public part. If you don't want me to invade, move to the private part." Myself, I'm a naturally stubborn person. Which means if I feel my rights are being threatened, I assert myself. I think that might help you.

With your brother bugging you by yelling things at the computer, my only suggestion is to either a) play your music nice and loud, or b) buy earmuffs. Because otherwise it's not going to get any better.

Kids at school bugging you? Throwing snowballs with broken glass at you? My boy, sounds like you need to give somebody a good ass-whooping. I don't say that to be funny. People are calling you gay (in the derogatory sense). Now what if they can't breathe? I doubt they'll still be calling you that. It doesn't seem to make much sense, but it will really help you out if you change your reputation from "pansy" to "will kick your ####ing ass if you say that." People will be much more willing to talk to you, and girls find men like that attractive.

If your best friends just shut up and left you without saying why, I'm gonna have to say #### them. They're not worth being friends with, period.



I don't know. It sounds like everybody's using you as their pincushion, and you need to send the pins right back to their owners.

I agree you can't just decide to not be friends with someone for no good reason if I were you i would try keeping them out in the dark see how they like not being informed. You find out that their boyfriend/girlfriend wants to break up with them don't tell them and watch as they are dumped while you secretly laugh, and like vagrant said, if people insult you, kick their *** they deserve it.

[DarkReality]

I can't help with your problems. No one can, really. You sound inteligent enough to have tried everything and considered everything we could possibly tell you. So there's not much we can do for you.

Nor can you change your surroundings. You sadly cannot force your friends to like you and you cannot force your mother to act her age. You can't change any of that. What you CAN do, though, is change yourself. Self esteem is most definately a problem. Kids don't throw snowballs with glass shards at people who they're afraid of or who they respect.

So my advice would be: go to a martial arts class. Any. It doesn't matter. All that matters is that you take it seriously. Not because you can, upon having taken 3 to 4 years of it, beat anyone up (which you most likely could, despite everything), but because you'll have a different stride to you. You'll walk differently and have a different aura about you.

Keep your back straight and your head up when you walk around. Don't take anything anyone says seriously anymore. If they insult you, keep walking without flinching. If you fight back, they'll already have won at provocating you and you've extensively described your luck when fighting back. Other than that, hold in there. You've almost got it behind you and then you're free on your own.

[dead,moron]

You have a point you can't make someone change but what you can do is perhaps try to convince them to change themselves for instance try to tell them that their current attitude could effect others and it could have caused unwanted events in the past. Hopefuly they will realize this and change their attitude. And again, stick up for yourself! She may be your mom but in 2 months you will be of legal age and she will no longer have complete controll over you. You should tell her that she should savor these last few weeks of your childhood, because, apparantly, no parent wants to see their child grow up and not need them anymore, and not many children or parents would want their last days as parent and child to be unhappy and tense. Explain this to your mom and maybe she will understand that you're childhood is something that, once gone, can't be taken back and will ,perhaps, spend the last weeks of your childhood bonding with you, instead of staying in the living room all day and night. Oh and I take back what I said about beating up the insulters, their just not worth it. And hearing what's happened any other time you retaliated, you will probably be the one in trouble because of the biased teachers.:mad:

[Labtop 215]

Its good to see that I do have support here. And I do already understand that fist fights get me nowhere. Having said that, I do beleive that joining a fitness club or martial arts club would be a good idea, if I could find one around my area. Barring that, I was also thinking of getting a weights set or an exersize machine, athough I'd have to save up for one. That is if I can convince my mother to let me stay while I finish my education and persue a job.

[dead,moron]

I think that if you feel the urge to get back at those insulters try standing next to their locker(s) and repeatedly slam their locker door shut as soon as they open it and if they accuse you of being a bully or a wuss, ask them,


"If I'm acting like you then what would you call yourselves?"

I also know what it is like to be bullied both pyhsicly and verbaly, it happend to me a lot in grade school.

EDIT:Then again if (like most bullies) they are idiots logic might not work, but it is worth a try.

[e p]

I guess what hurt the most about that year was losing my 2 best friends. Like, one day they just wont talk to me anymore. One, was very verbal about it too. Just one day while I'm trying to talk to him and he just turns around and says "Don't talk to me anymore. Seriously." and I ask why, and he just wont talk to me anymore. And since then neither of these people will talk to me. Even 3 years after. And, it sucks even worse because they have lots of friends. And their friends will talk to me, at least until "he" shows up and then they ignore me. And just nobody will listen to me there.

If their friends talk to you, then ignore you when your former best friends show up, then you shouldn't bother talking to them because they're afraid.

I used to do that with one of my closest friends. Looking back, I realized what an ass I was.

[JoeyG]

Sounds like you need a break.

Are you in a position to run away for a few days? Do you have any friends who will hold you, and lie to your guardians and the police?

If you go on a reasonably memorable tirade before leaving, it should freak them out a little and hopefully they'll get the message.

[Labtop 215]

No, running away wouldn't work. I don't have any firends who would have me stay over, let alone lie to the cops and my parents. This is also my last year at school, and once its out of the way, and I get a job, I'll be in a much better position to improve my situation I guess.

[DarkReality]

I think that if you feel the urge to get back at those insulters try standing next to their locker(s) and repeatedly slam their locker door shut as soon as they open it and if they accuse you of being a bully or a wuss, ask them,


"If I'm acting like you then what would you call yourselves?"

I also know what it is like to be bullied both pyhsicly and verbaly, it happend to me a lot in grade school.

EDIT:Then again if (like most bullies) they are idiots logic might not work, but it is worth a try.

... people sort of stop those kind of things once they hit the halfway checkpoint of puberty...

[czhe97]

... people sort of stop those kind of things once they hit the halfway checkpoint of puberty...
Hm... I never stopped and I'm going through it right now...

[Hex]

You're hardly halfway through puberty.

[czhe97]

How would you know? Hex...

[e p]

Because you're 12, and if you're anything like me, you're barely through puberty.

[czhe97]

I've gotten taller, I'm sweating more and I'm slowly growing a mustache...

[Kjohn]

I got a stache' too, everyone's like" you got a mustache?"

And I got taller too

yay puberty

[Violence]

If those kids at school are still bullying you go and report them to the authorities, I believe bullying is a crime punishable by law.

[Dragon]

If those kids at school are still bullying you go and report them to the authorities, I believe bullying is a crime punishable by law.

No, it is not, but the cops could talk about it with them.

[jason]

No, it is not, but the cops could talk about it with them.

Yes, it is. Get your facts straight. I've seen people fined by the cops for bullying people. Public Mischief and Physical Contact come to mind?
Yeah, both illegal and can be charged for.

[I Faw Down]

Especially the glass snowballs...

[Scornic]

What are your grades like? If there's any way for you to finish highschool, then attend a University, things will change. The martial arts idea is probably the best so far though. I was a skinny, weak target for bullies, until I started lifting weights and taking Kung Fu. While in all honesty I probably wouldn't do too much better in a fight now than back then, I would much more easily avoid a fight. It made me confident. I also began to focus on my posture. Any time I could remember I would keep my shoulders back and head held high. Soon it became habit, and now I don't think about it. It's amazing what the world looks like when you stand tall, and it's fun to watch people move out of my path when I walk. Listen, I'm sure most of the mature people here (those who have already gone through puberty) would know how much highschool sucks. College is different. If you can, tough it out one year. Learn to play the game, and not rebel. Do some ass-kissing, to authorities. As for the punks who #### with you, just ignore them. Walk with good posture, stand tall, look right past them. If they ask you how many guys you slept with last night, tell them "A helluva lot less than you buddy." and keep walking. Do what you can to reach University, and you'll be free, around mature people. I haven't met a single ####### here. If someone doesn't like me, they avoid me. Not hard with 38,000 students. No glass filled snowballs.